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Review:MargaretLane says:
You know, it would have been good to actually read about the Hogwarts letter arriving and Ron having too much firewhiskey and telling his story, rather than just hearing they have happened. Particularly since the part about him having the firewhiskey would probably be quite funny.

Lily's question about why it took them so long to tell her sounds really realistic. I can almost hear the way she says it.

I also like the way Ginny explains why they didn't want to tell her. You write dialogue well. The way she explains it really makes sense and allows us to understand.

You do have a typo though, when you spell daughter as "daugjter".

And you've left out a word when Lily looks into her mother's eyes and sees a person who has seen too. I presume you meant "too much."

And near the end you've said that Ron "devided firewhiskey was fine drunk in pints" when it should be "decided."

I find it amusing that James is still too thickheaded not to notice how well known his family is at the age of...what? About 14 or 15. I love the way you give us such natural insights into the personalities of the various characters. I've got a good grasp of how James, Rose and Albus are going to be characterised in this story already and we haven't even met them yet.

And the part about Hermione turning Ron's ears into vegetables for drinking too much and telling the children things they weren't supposed to hear is quite amusing.

Author's Response: Thanks very much for the awesome review. I know the typos are annoying and I mean to change all of them as soon as possible. I'm glad you find the bit about James funny. I always imagined that he would just think he got the attention cos he was so amazing. Thank you again for being so good!

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