Hi! I'm back with your (very late) requested review. Thank you so much for coming by to re-request! I loved your first chapter, but this Firenze story is by far my favorite of the two :)
I love the mythical tone of Firenze's narration. I'm almost exclusively a Founders writer, and the style of a centaur's thoughts and dialogue remind me very fondly of that era. This chapter almost reads like a legend, or a folk tale. I especially love any part where you describe the stars. Those first two paragraphs...wow. Gorgeous :)
I do think this chapter contrasts a lot from the first in terms of style, so you're in no danger there. I can clearly distinguish Firenze's voice from Thanatos, who was much more bitter and less lyrical in his narration.
As far as content itself, I was riveted by this story! So intense and powerful! I was so hoping for a happy ending for Firenze, but with the darker tone of the overall piece, I wasn't too surprised at the outcome. And I found Firenze himself fascinating; you did a great job of showing what an enigma he is. He isn't a human, but at the same time he isn't quite a centaur anymore either. He thinks differently, he doesn't see his people in the same way after living among humans. I loved him, and I was so disappointed when Bane called for his death.
Bane's rage is almost theatrical, but at the same time I understand where he's coming from. That's the kind of "villain" that I love; the one you're conflicted about. You did an awesome job at creating two well-rounded characters in Firenze and Bane.
Okay, I'll stop gushing now! I absolutely loved this chapter...thank you so much for requesting it! Feel free to re-request any time, and PM me if you want to talk further. I'm a little slow, but I'm always happy to review your work!
Author's Response: Hello! :) I didn't think it was late at all! :D
I'm so glad you liked this chapter, it really means a lot to me as I loved writing it and have grown very attached to Firenze! I'm so happy you commented on the style fitting the mythical centaur, and that it reads like a legend. That's such lovely praise, so thank you! :)
I'm also pleased the voices of the two characters were distinct, and Firenze seemed unique in his own right. For some reason these two chapters flowed really smoothly for me when writing them, and it was entertaining imagining two different sides of a conflict and the reactions to the battle.
I'm really happy you liked the content of the story, it's wonderful to hear! And sorry about the darker ending, but like you said it is a rather dark story overall! Ah, I love your comments on the portrayal of Firenze, as that's just how I see him: he's a sort of hybrid who both fits in and is rejected by both the centaur and human worlds.
I'm glad you mentioned Bane as well, and that his rage was believable if not entirely excusable! I see him as an individual who is both driven over the edge and going mad with power while taking advantage of his people's trauma.
Really, thank you so much for this amazingly lovely review! You are just too great, and getting your feedback on my story really means a lot to me and makes me happy. I'd love to re-request, and I'm excited to find out what you think of the next chapter! :)