Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:patronus_charm says:
Iím typing this review as fast as possible in the hope of getting the first one, so if it doesnít make any sense or is typo ridden apologises in advance, Rachel! I think this is your 40th story as well, so congrats for that :D

I adored the first section. A good old mystery always excites me and this one definitely has got me interested. At first, I have to admit that I thought it was from James but judging from the scene later on, Iím wrong in that matter and now Iím trying to think of people with white hands. I thought of Lucius considering the hair and all, but by canon terms he would have left.

One thing which I really loved in this chapter was your amazing description. You really showed things from a new perspective and it was wonderfully detailed at the same time. Like here ĎA white hand flashes through swathes of darkness and seizes the edge of the parchment.í It was lovely. The thing which made it effective was though it was amazing description it was also controlled description, and you didnít sacrifice the dialogue or action for it which was really great.

I love how you write the Marauders in Breaking Even, and I loved them again in here. I think it was the way you described the way they went about at breakfast which really made me love it. Their actions matched up with their personality brilliantly and I especially liked the one of Peter. You showed him in an unbiased why and I liked the idea of him being a reader as that role usually designated to Remus alone.

Poor old James! I couldnít help but feel bad for him when the others are all accusing him of sending that letter. I knew straight away that he would never do that to Lily, though I may have been a little biased there :P I think James is the best Marauder you write, even though the others are all brilliant like I just said, his characterisation is the one which shines for me here which is great because I love him ♥

That note was really haunting! I didnít really know what to expect when it said that Lily would be next, but the end bit really shocked me! I canít believe that thereís been a murder in Hogwarts and Iím eager to find out more about it. I loved the way James immediately volunteered to sort it all out for Lily despite not knowing the magnitude of it all!

Ah that was a fantastic start, Rachel! I canít wait to read on :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Your reviews are quickly becoming the hardest things I have to respond to. YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO ME, KIANA. ♥ I am still laughing at your racing over here to be the first review!

I'm so, so glad you enjoyed this, mostly because I am very inexperienced at writing mystery stories, and somehow it's sort of a challenge to write them when you know the ending yourself. Or maybe it's just me? I do know who the letter is from, though, and I shall tell no one until the proper time. :) Expect the unexpected!

I'm so, so glad you liked the description, too. ♥ I wanted to make the first section different from the second in its tone, and that made the imagery come out a bit more thickly than if it had been James taking it in, you know? I am really pleased to know it wasn't overkill, too! I have been known to tilt one way or the other. ;)

MARAUDERS. Oh my goodness, I love writing them. And I love that you love the way I write them. And you know, I could just write in this era forever! These are essentially my Sneth Marauders, though, minus Beth, because they're too firmly ingrained in my head for me to write them any other way at this point. Oops. -squee forever that you think James is the best Marauder I write because he's my favorite one to write in general-

A murder! It has happened! And oh, more mystery-type things are to come, for sure. ;) Nothing is certain! (Now look what you've done. Your review has made me quite giddy, and I am overusing exclamation points. ♥)

THANK YOU FOR SUCH A WONDERFUL REVIEW. I am honored to have it be my first on this story! And I really, really hope you like where the rest of it goes, too!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 190
Submit Report: