So this is a bit funny then, leaving a review on chapter five of a currently eighteen-chapter story, but I have things and stuff to say so deal with it. I'll review all the chapters if I want, and there's nothing you can do about it. HA. (Except if you decide I'm extra special annoying and delete them, which I wouldn't blame you for, I ramble.)
Well basically what prompted me to leave this was some discrepancies I found. I noticed you use a lot of British slang, and it's all spot-on! Which is exciting. It's nice when stories set in Britain actually sound like they happen in Britain. So I don't know if you're British or not or what you're situation is, but there are some weird things. And I thought I would mention them since your slang is so marvy and I figure you would appreciate some more Britishisms? But kick me if I'm wrong. Really, kick me, it's the only way I learn.
Anyway. So the first thing I noticed was Edie seems a bit obsessive over tips. Now I'm not a barkeep so I don't know about how much they actually do care about tips, but I wanted to mention that tipping is not a super common thing here, so it seems a bit strange to me. But maybe I'm just trained to notice it while picking at Americanisms (not that there anything wrong with them, don't get me wrong of course, it's just that if I were writing a story about another country I would want it to be super authentic and that). So Edie getting upset about not getting tips over in chapter three seems weird to me.
Also, you mention pies in this chapter. Pies are usually with meat in them, not dessert (over here at least). So debating over whether to have cupcakes or pies is kinda strange :P
There was one more thing, oh what was it, let me go find it. Oh, yes! The coffee. There seems to be lots of coffee in this fic. Not that Brits don't drink coffee, of course. But! Tea is infinitely and 100% and will always be better (in my so very humble opinion) so most Brits would agree (at least, I think?) that tea is more common than coffee. Not to say that it's weird that Edie drinks coffee, cause she perfectly at liberty to drink whatever you, my rather brilliant author, deem appropriate. But I feel like that might come up in conversation more. We feel pretty strongly about our tea. If I had a mate that drank coffee all the time, I would probably slap them around for it every so often. But maybe I'm (most definitely) a tiny (compared to the moon) bit of a (completely mad) tea fanatic.
But well, the point of this bit is, it does seem odd that everyone else kinda goes for coffee too. And that they meet at a coffee shop. And all that. But, you know. I'm not prejudiced against coffee-drinkers. Really. I'm completely not. One hundred percent absolutely not. Mhmm.
Anyway I think this fic is marvy and I love it, it's just the best ever. I really like that you put it in this time frame, right after the war and stuff, but at the same time aren't all 'THE WAR HAPPENED and this is all the dramatic stuff that follows and everyone's suffering and la la la la' cause I don't think everyone would've reacted that way. Obviously a load of people dying is er, a bad thing, but not everybody reacts to it the same way. You put your characters in a believable situation and gave them personality traits that fit with it, and the end product is ALAKAZAM. A real story that is good and authentic and a lot of other cool things too.
So... er... good job? -pats back awkwardly-
Er yeah well anyway I love this fic and such and now I'm going to keep reading because this is taking forever. And y'know maybe I'll leave some other random reviews if that's okay with you. Also favourite. And I don't think there's anything you can do about me favouriting so HA. THERE. TAKE THAT.
Anyway. I just had my breakfast tea, so decaffeinated Chloe is not to be held responsible for any of the above. Aand FIN
Author's Response: Hello there!! Nothing weird about reviewing a little late in the game--I'm known to do that too!
I'm so glad my British slang is acceptable. A lot of it is what I've gained from Angry!Ron Weasley and from watching The IT Crowd which omG CAN I TALK ABOUT RICHARD AYOADE FOR JUST A MINUTE. (Also, thanks for saying "marvy," I have found a new slang term.)
Yeaahhh! The tip thing was something I was concerned with, but not enough to actually check facts xD I've always heard that in many European countries, servers and bartenders are paid at least minimum wage, whereas here we make about $2.15 an hour, with tips. So we really do depend on them! Oliver's friend tipping poorly was a show of bad character (as a server I consider it SO RUDE TO DO THAT WHY WOULD YOU EVEN GO OUT TO EAT IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO TIP), and Oliver's over-compensation was an apology of sorts. I suspected that part of the story was incorrect, but I was in an IM EXCITED TO UPDATE frenzy and didn't really check. I'm glad to have that clarified, though, and will add it to my ever-increasing list of edits to make.
Hahaha, I wonder where I mention pies... Not the hugest fan (of American OR British pies) so that's funny. I'll be sure to change that though!
I also hadn't realized that Edie's coffee-drinking was kind of weird. She drinks it more as a hangover cure/because she's stressed/has to churn out an article overnight/etc., so tea just didn't feel right. Plus being really spastic and stressed out and jittery just seems like such an important part of her character. I appreciate you letting me know, and I'll do something to mention that it's rare for her to do that :D
Thanks so much for all of your help!