Hello there! Sorry if this review is short/makes no sense I should be asleep! Iíve been meaning to come and read this story ever since you posted the status as I love George/OC stories, so I finally made it here :P
What Penelope is dead and she wasnít going out with Percy at that time? I did not expect that, but then the unexpectedness of it all was brilliant. Iím glad that you tied her into canon in some way, because when people create OCs and donít it really bothers me.
I have a question! Is Verity the Verity from the joke shop? If so, thatís really cool because I love it when people take a minor character and turn her into major plotline. If not, thatís also cool because I like the name :D
I really liked Old Wendy. Iíve noticed in each of your stories you put a lot of care and thought into each characterís dialog given each one their own dialect and thatís really great because it requires a lot of effort and itís so rare to come across so I was pleased to see it here :) You also put a of thought into the way she appeared even though she only took up a few lines and that was really great.
This line, ĎLike my father, like my grandfather, I am a collector. I am a collector of memories and ghosts, of thoughts and passions and regrets.í ♥ it was so beautiful; Iím just sitting here in awe of it. To tell you the truth, I saw it on your banner request over at TDA and that made me want to read the story even more and it was perfect.
Thereís something poetic in the way you write this. I think itís your use of description and the choice of words you use like here ĎAn old man, white beard poking out beneath his cloak, whispered to me the tale of his lost love, a beautiful Muggle boy of seventeení and here ĎIn trinkets I find a mass of souls, of stories,í it really is quite beautiful and it creates an almost melodic flow to the story.
I liked how you developed the beginning of the end of Sebastian and Verity by him having a go at embarrassing herself, and it leads to her and George being together. One other thing I really liked was the mention of Percy at the funeral. We donít really know much about him at this point due to him leaving his family, but the fact that he showed up to the funeral added a touch of humanity to it and made me all teary eyed.
I think the funeral scene was also really well written. It was interesting how Verity seemed to comment more on other peopleís reactions than her own and it related back to the idea that she collect memories and, therefore, is an observer of people so it was nice to see it all tie in. This line made me even more teary eyed Ė ĎI can see the grieving parents clinging to each other, helplesslyí.
I liked learning more about Penelopeís background as it allowed me to have more of a picture of her in my head. She does sound like a wonderful person and I can see it by the way her death if provoking a different reaction in Verity as opposed to Sebastian. Heís on the nonplussed side of the war whereas with her I can sense this growing discontent.
Well, that was an absolutely amazing first chapter and Iím eagerly awaiting the next! If this review makes no sense or is typo ridden I apologise in advance and Iím going to go to bed to prevent any more of these reviews from happening!
Author's Response: Hello! :) Please know how excited I was upon seeing this review this morning. It was the best possible start to the day, and really made me so happy! :D
I'm so excited that you enjoyed the first chapter of this new little baby of mine. I actually have quite a bit of the story written and have been hesitating at posting another WIP, but getting this positive feedback is so encouraging and lovely.
Yes, Penelope is dead! :) In this story at least, she and Percy had been broken up since leaving Hogwarts, though of course he still came to the funeral. Percy will make some appearances in the Diagon/Knockturn Alley crowd, and like you said it's interesting to see what he was up to during his absence from the family! I want to tie Verity in with canon as much as possible while still giving her an original take on the events of the books, which is the best part about writing Hogwarts era in my opinion. :)
And yes, Verity is the girl from the joke shop! Although it will still take her a while to actually get there. :) I'm glad you picked up on that, and she just so happened to come with an excellent name! :D
Aw, thank you! :) I'm glad you liked Wendy, and the other little anecdotes and stories Verity "collects." Thank you for what you said about my characterization, that makes me very happy!
I'm so pleased you liked the lines about her being a collector of stories. It's funny, that line just sort of came to me, and fit perfectly with her job at Borgin and Burkes, with the future I see for her, and with the symbolism of magpies. :)
You are just too good to me, thank you for the lovely comments about the writing style! :)
I haven't actually been to a lot of funerals, but tried to incorporate what Verity might be focusing on, like the others' reactions and grief instead of her own. It's both challenging and exciting to write through her eyes, and to in fact notice and collect the stories and thoughts of others.
There will be lots more background coming, in terms of Verity, Sebastian and Penelope! :) I'm so excited to keep writing this, and your words have really boosted my inspiration and encouraged me to get updating! Thank you so much for this truly amazing review my darling! :D