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Review:MargaretLane says:
I like the way you have six years pass between the time Teddy and Victoire break up and the time he and Dominique get together. It makes a lot more sense than him moving directly from one to the other.

Just one tiny thing, and it's not even an error, but the "you are my sister's ex" sounds a little stilted. I think she'd be more likely to say "you're my sister's ex." And I think it might sound better if instead of using Victoire's name twice in quick succession, Teddy said "I'm sure SHE'S perfectly happy with Ian now." But those are absolutely tiny things and probably a matter of opinion really.

Oh and Dominique says "you know I don't have a problem you". I think you left out "with".

Love Victoire's reaction to finding out about Teddy and Dominique. And I like the fact they were never really serious. So many characters in the Potterverse seem to end up with the person they started dating in their late 'teens, whereas in real life, only a small minority of the people I know have done that. So it's good to see one couple in their late 'teens/early 20s who aren't a permanent thing. Gives a bit more variety to the types of relationships we see.

Hmm, Delilah Jones seems like a very interesting character. At first I thought she was a kind and caring boss (in fact, there are a couple of lines where she sounds like McGonagall in one of my stories), but then she starts railroading Dominique into writing about something she may well not be comfortable announcing to the world at large just yet. She comes across as a little manipulative. It'll be interesting to see more of her.

And referring to the attack as a "hassle" is insensitive at best.

Author's Response: I know I am a month late in responding, but thanks a ton for all your awesome reviews.

I am glad you like the time gap between the break up and Dom/Teddy getting together. I thought it'd make more sense too.

Thanks for pointing out those bits in the dialogue. I'll try to edit those.

I am pleased you liked Victoire's reaction. Indeed, very few people who date in their teens continue on with the same person.

Delilah Jones is interesting haha. You'll know more about her as you read on. I am glad you were intrigued to see more.

Insensitive, definitely.


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