Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:SilentConfession says:

You're characterization of Dom is good so far. I like this added bit of her fear of werewolves is that she fears she will become a monster even in the other days. It'll be interesting to see how this manifests itself in later chapters because that could be a very powerful force. I think the only thing you could look at with her is to be sure her emotions feel real and that she's not just thinking emotionally (angry, happy, sad, depressed) but is also acting that way as well and it would probably even show in her dialogue as well. It will make us connect with her even more.

The boss. I am suspicious of her. I was suspicious of her the minute she came onto the scene because her caring seemed fake. I don't know if you meant for it to feel that way but if you did great job. She seems like the only thing she wants Dom for is to capitalize on the condition and if Dom was to refuse and not want to be used and paraded around then things could easily turn out very badly between the two. I think the way you've written her adds a very interesting dynamic into the story and i'm excited to see where it goes. I don't like her though and Dom probably needs to watch out.

The flashback was interesting. It gave us a look into how the relationship began and showed that they suited each other well. It was good to show that this story won't have the awkward Dom-Teddy-Vic triangle in it. However, i felt like some of the dialogue in that bit seemed scripted. I thought it flowed with the story alright because something set off her memory of it i would just suggest trying to smooth it out. Maybe add more description with the talk so we get more of a feel for the moment? This has less to do with the flashback but i am interested to see the dynamic between Teddy and Dom. We've heard it talked about but it hasn't really been seen firsthand yet so i'm curious to know how they will seem when they are finally interacting together (even though the end gives you a hint that something bad is up!)

The pace is going fine at the moment I think. We see Dom just trying to get her bearings and understand herself. We see that she's trying to ingest what's happened and it's still haunting her. The biggest moment you had of that is when she is looking at her scars. The ending is also really interesting and leaves the reader begging to know why her boyfriend who's supposedly been really supportive through their relationship is so unhappy to see her!!

Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you found this review helpful! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a ton for reading and reviewing once again. All your reviews have been so helpful since I really want to improve, so I'll be definitely referring to them once my holidays begin and I get editing!

I am glad you're liking Dom's characterisation. I'll surely follow your advice and try to incorporate her emotions into her actions as well, though in my mind she's more of a person who likes to keep her emotions in her (except for her outburst in the previous chapter which was slightly unexpected) so it may not be much. I'll definitely try to explore her further though.

It's a relief (what a word) that you find the boss suspicious as that was entirely my intention and you'll see why (if you read on) in the future chapters. Dom definitely needs to watch out, lol. More of the boss will be seen later!

Yeah, I wanted to show the fact that there is definitely no triangle here so I am pleased you liked the flashback. I am not too good with dialogue, but I'll try to fix it as much as I can. I'll definitely try to add more description and such. You'll surely see plenty of Dom and Teddy firsthand in next chapters!

I am relieved that the pace is going fine, and it's not too slow, though things are going to pick up from chapter four. I am glad you liked that scar moment as it was one of my favourites to write. More on why Teddy looks unhappy in the next chapter.

Thanks a ton for all your lovely words and advice and I'll surely re-request for next chapters.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 509
Submit Report: