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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hello!

I really enjoyed this chapter. I liked the lightness of some of the parts and I think what really stuck out to me was how spot on you were with the twins in this chapter. They seemed perfect in this chapter, their humour, weirdness, and yet seem to still be a good friend. You've done an excellent job at capturing them! Honestly!

This chapter had all sorts of awkward in it. I mean just cringeworthy kind of stuff! I loved it because it really shows George and how it's really hard for him to do things and be smooth without his twin. It was also the perfect awkward 15 year trying to portray his feelings and failing oh so miserably at it. It was great and i want them to catch a break but i love how you keep the tension there. Why did you have to lunge George? It was also just so typical for him to start laughing like a fool just before he seals the deal.

I thought it was interesting that you decided to centre around their birthday's here to show the passing of time. Generally this was a good idea but i did feel that it was a little forced and rushed. I guess because so much time passed (feb - june) I think that throughout this chapter the dramatic tension did ease for me because if little happens in those months then maybe everything is alright. It could be interpreted as the calm before the storm however this being one of the last chapters of your story I think it might have been more build up.

I don't know what you could do seeing as you are the only one who knows where this story is going. But perhaps use some foreshadowing?

However, saying all that the end was brilliant. It brought everything that has been underlying your story right up front because i'm immediately suspicious of it and i keep wondering if she sent it or the person who's after her. It gives the feeling like the last few months have just been lulling her into a sense of security and she's about to experience another massive upheaval.

Generally this chapter is good. You show a lot about the relationships in this chapter, you wrap up the school year, and keep it focussed on canon OWL events. The only concern i have is the slowness of the bulk of the chapter but that doesn't necessarily make it a bad chapter, it just depends where the end of the story is going. Sorry i could be more helpful! Thanks for requesting!

Author's Response: Hi! Great to hear from you again :)

Really wanted to make Fred and George stick out here, and give them some characterisation. Also wanted to add a "milestone" (kind of) for Brienne and George. Baby steps to a breakthrough hopefully xD

I think what I'm going to do is make Paisley's birthday in March instead of February- it isn't crucially important that her birth sign be Pisces anyway xD I very much don't want it to feel forced or like I couldn't think of enough stuff to happen in those months xD I just thought it would be a neat way to link up the rest of their year. Perhaps I could add some of Brienne's uneasiness in there :) Thank you for your help in this part of it!

I'm so glad you liked the ending! I feel mean dropping such massive cliffhangers in there, but it's drammatically satisfying to me to write them :)

Thank you so much for your review! :D


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