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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! magnolia_magic here with your requested review. I'm really glad you requested this story...I've never read an HP fairy tale, and this was a really cute introduction :)

I loved your first paragraph. I really appreciate when an author takes the time to set up a scene before the action starts, and I think you did a really good job with that here. And it's easy to imagine Draco being that prideful, shallow character who won't let the old woman come inside. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing more of him!

I also think I'm going to really like Isabelle. She's a very down to earth girl in a family of drama-queen sisters, which I appreciate :) And her dad is precious! I love that he shows love for each of his daughters, even though Anise and Angelica are super unpleasant.

I'm interested to see whether you'll put your own twist on these characters in the future. Right now I think you've done a good job of keeping them true to the Beauty and the Beast story, but it would be cool to see some subtle differences come up later. Adaptations on old stories are fun to read for nostalgia's sake, but I'd love to see you make these characters your own :) And there's plenty of time for that down the road.

Here's the big suggestion that I have: I think the first section is worthy of its own chapter. The ending of that section did feel a little rushed to me, and I think you could do even more with describing Draco and his thoughts about the whole ordeal. If it were me, I'd make that into a short prologue. Then, the next chapter can be getting into Isabelle's life, and expanding a little bit on that wonderful second section. I think that would help it flow a little more smoothly, and give us time to appreciate what's happening in the story :)

My favorite thing about this is the fairy-tale feel you've created. I think it's so interesting that it's set after the second war, and yet it reads like an old-fashioned story. It made this chapter very fun to read :) You asked if it feels real, and I'd have to say that it feels more like a legend...but I think that's what you want in a story like this! Fairy tales are meant to have a whimsical feel to them; we know it could never happen, and that's what makes it such a great escape. But I think your characters will be great as you develop them, and that's going to keep it grounded and keep readers hooked.

Overall I think this is a really promising start, and I hope you continue! Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk further, and re-request whenever you want :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: Maggie,

Thank you for your great review. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I'm really glad you liked the first chapter of my story. I definantly am going to take some of your suggestions. I really like the first chapter but I'm second one kinda of fell apart. I think if I go back and separate this first chapter into two separate chapter I can better set up for the chapter that follows.

Thank you for the awesome review!!!

Meg


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