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Review:academica says:
Hello, here from Review Tag!

I like that Dominique is starting to take charge in her new existence, in terms of making the difficult choice to proceed with sterilization and in trying to figure out why she had been bitten in the first place. I can see some growth from her initial withdrawn reaction to the news of her infection. It was also very heartwarming to see her family and Teddy continue to stand by her side and help her. On the same note, I like that she doesn't rely on them to fight her battle; rather, she wants to figure out the truth behind her attack for herself.

There were a couple of things that I would take a second look at in this chapter. I have to confess that your initial author's note put a sour taste in my mouth. I don't have time to go back and re-read the initial chapter, and I don't know that I would have questioned your changes, but it felt like you were accusing readers like me of being lazy. I think a simple note about the change at the end of the chapter would have sufficed if you were concerned that a lot of readers would be confused in their reviews after finishing this chapter.

The other thing that threw me a little was the use of language in Teddy and Dominique's conversation. It seemed insensitive for him to call her "incredibly stupid" instead of something milder like "silly" when she was obviously already hurting, and it felt odd for her to use the term she did to refer to herself in her next line, replying to him. Sometimes it can help to re-read dialogue out loud and see if it really sounds natural or too forced.

It'll be interesting to see Dominique confront Delilah and figure out where to go from here. I'm hoping your next chapter will contain an interaction with the werewolf who bit her, because I think that would make for a very interesting conversation. All in all, I think things are progressing nicely and it's good to see you are taking your reviews seriously.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing. As always, your review was very helpful especially since I am looking for ways to improve the story and my writing in general.

I am glad you like the way Dominique is reacting now, and that you can see her growth. Yes, her family and Teddy are there for her, but in the end, she will fight her own battles =)

Ah sorry about the author's note. I have gone back and edited it as per your suggestion. I am not very sure how to go about doing author notes in a way my readers don't get put off, so thanks a ton.

I am not too good with dialogue so again your comments were really helpful. I'll go back and edit (hopefully soon) to change 'stupid' to 'silly' and look over the rest of it as well.

The next chapter does contain an interaction with the werewolf who bit her =) I am glad you are liking the story. I strive to make full use of all the helpful reviews I get, and especially yours are much appreciated. Thanks a lot once again!


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