Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:ChaosWednesday says:
hey it's Whiskey here with your requested review!

I like Gellert stories, mostly because his arc is just so insane and tragic, and because his madness underlies much of what happens later, one way or the other. But we know very little about him - including any strong connection he may have had to stuffed penguins.

So, about the enormous stuffed penguin.Is that some sort of reference?
When you first mentioned it I had to go back and check if one of your subgenres was Humour.

Is there any particular reason you always called it "enormous stuffed penguin"? I suppose you must have done it on purpose because you were consistently not adding any other adjectives to it. And while I find that did add a certain creepy unrelentlessness to the image, I couldn't really get a grip on any thematic or metaphoric significance that it may have. What does it mean to Gellert? Does anything about it except its persistent presence bother him? It's just so un-harrypotter-y that I felt the penguin needed quite a bit of help fitting into the universe.

That said, I found your descriptions of Ariana trully haunting and wonderfully described! The way the visions rely on the movement of a cloud over the moon and the way her voice and her lip-movements don't match - those were some disconcerting details that really set the mood for me. I also liked the rythm towards the end where she just keeps on repeating that he should not lie. I could really picture it!

Also, the setting of the clearing that was being choked by the trees and that remembered a Dark Event was wonderful.

Ok, basically, what is it with the penguin!! I can't get over that penguin XD Everything else had this carefully constructed ghostly undertone to it - except the massive toy just standing there. I couldn't stop thinking of Miyazaki's Spirited Away. That sort of absurdity would fit very nicely with his style...But for the effect to work, you really need the rest of the world you create to support it somehow, you know?

Well, I hope this review is somehow helpful. And I hope I didn't make a fool of myself but not getting some cannon insider thing about penguins and Gellert Grindelwald.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

The enormous stuffed penguin was the "Thing" for the challenge. I have reworked the penguin to describe it a little better rather than just repeating that it was an enormous stuffed penguin. :)

I was seeing the penguin taking the role as the physical manifestation of Gellert's guilt.

I will consider how to include the penguin into the storyline better and how to connect the penguin to Ariana better. I've also added in notes about showing what the penguin means to Gellert.

Thank you! I've done a fair bit of revision for Ariana in this story, trying to add in her child-like innocent view of the world.

It was intriguing to craft the setting. I wanted the reader to feel as if they were truly there.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 955
Submit Report: