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Review:Illuminate says:
Hi!

This is a really funny opening chapter! Lily seems like such a fun person xD You really set everything up and set the foundations and characterisations for what could be a hilarious and enjoyable story :)

I think if I could suggest anything it would be to vary your sentence lengths; a lot of your sentences are quite long and if you say them out loud you may find yourself losing your breath xD

All in all, a great opening chapter! Good job!

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear that it was funny as that was what I was aiming for. She certainly does seen like a fun person (whenever I think of her I just think spontaneous and very reckless).

I hope to make the story as hilarious as possible and make people laugh so fingers crossed!

I will definitely keep that in mind about the sentences. It seems to have become something that I accidentally end up doing, I'll make sure to watch out for that.

Thanks for the feedback and the review!


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