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Review:Calypso says:
Here from the Ravenclaw Review Battle!

Oh dear- it looks like Lily's in a bit of trouble!

The title was definitely what initially attracted me to this- it looked very intriguing, so well done for that! I enjoyed the way you wrote the beginning, with James' warning to Lily, and the way that even as he's telling her to keep away, we know that she's probably going to try and ride it!
James having a motorcycle reminded me of Sirius a bit, which was a nice connection, just like Rose and Lily ending up in the tree was reminiscent of Harry and Ron crashing into the Whomping Willow!

I thought that you wrote the friendship between Rose and Lily well- they were both quite developed, which in about two thousand words is impressive! I also liked how Ron just accepts that Lily's around his house a lot- it showed as nice relationship between the two families!

Ahh Lily and Rose's bike ride did make me giggle- and it was really gripping too! You definitely brought across the suspense in that part, and at one point I was genuinely quite worried for their safety :P But I should have known to rely on some quick thinking from Rose!
I have to say I feel a bit sorry for James, but hopefully some magic can sort the bike out?

I've just noticed a typo: "You've ruined your brothers bike." I think there needs to be an apostrophe before the "s" of "brothers."

Haha, Lily's last line was just perfect! It sort of summed up the whole one-shot for me, and was a great, rather humourous note to leave it one! This was a great story, and it did make me laugh- well done!

-Bethany

Author's Response: I thought the title was actually quite blah and uninteresting but less is more seems to be the case here!

I was actually thinking about Sirius when I have James the motorbike and I was hoping that someone else would think of Sirius as well!

And thank you very much, it means a lot to me to hear that the character development was good. Since the Golden Trio are such good friends, it made sense to me that their kids would be barging into their houses without knocking. It's how my family is anyways.

The bike ride was actually the most difficult part to write as I didn't know how to go about it. I was actually really worried that the way I'd written the scene didn't work and people would point it out to me.

Thanks for pointing out the typo, I must've missed it when I was reading through the chapter.

Thank you for the feedback, it was very appreciated, thank you for reviewing and I'm glad that you enjoyed the one-shot!


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