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Review:ohmymerlin says:
Hi there! I've seen this around a lot, and I thought I'd finally give it a read. :D

First things first, I love the mystery you've already got going on here! You've portrayed it really well. It's a great opening chapter!

However, in the first section you've said:

"He, Danny Dunford, was a wizard!"

I think you mean Sanford. ;) Don't worry though, I've done it a lot as well! :p

Also, there are some sentences where you've forgotten a word.

"Cara is going to forgive after this."

I think you just need to add 'me' after the word 'forgive'. :)

But these can all be fixed with a quick read through. My tip is to read it aloud, it always helps!

So yeah, I quite like Danny and Albus, I feel like they're going to be a great bromance! :'D

I'm also curious as to what happened after Cara was in the coma. What was their reunion like? What were Danny's emotions?

Anyway, I'll keep reading! Good job! :D

Author's Response: whoops! O.o thanks for mentioning the mistakes! I didn't even notice that I wrote Danny's last name wrong! I definitely will try reading aloud next time.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!! (:


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