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Review:patronus_charm says:
Iíve been waiting to see what Alrek does Lily to all week so Iím so excited that Iím finally able to find out :D This isnít even going to be a rolling review like usual, as I read the chapter beforehand :P

The suspense in this chapter was horrible! I think it was due to the repeated scene changes meaning I wasnít really sure whether I wanted a resolution to the James/Violet story or the Lily/Alrek one first because they were both so shocking in different ways.

I felt really proud of Lily at the beginning as I could sense that she thought she could take Alrek down and thatís probably due to her not knowing the gravity of the entire situation. Then the way you showed the transition from her belief to one of fear was really great. Then when that realisation hit Lily I began to grow scared too. I donít even know why, as I knew she obviously wasnít going to be killed but I think it was just Lily being in the unknown which was horrible.

I really liked the idea of the portrait, and I canít remember if itís featured before but it was really good anyhow. That scene was horrible when she was calling for James as it seemed as if she had really given up her fight and I had never seen her come close to that before. Iím really glad with the resolution of it though and yay for Alrek being killed as that needed to happen a long time ago!

I really liked how you showed Violet in this chapter too. I think you added a certain level of humanity to her which we hadnít seen before and it was really nice. Even though she still is a really horrible person I felt like she was more of human after this chapter. The first indicator was her blushing when James told her about being mean to Lily behind his back as it showed that she could be embarrassed with her own actions for once. Then the part with her genuinely not knowing how to unlock it as I would like to think that was true and she did feel bad about it.

James was wonderful in this chapter and there were a ton of cutesy amidst the drama where he talked about how he wanted to be with Lily and not her and it made me all fuzzy and warm. I thought he was going to send a patronus to rescue Lily and I was glad my predictions were proved correct.

The little scene between Dumbledore and Sirius was really great. I think it was this line which made the entire scene ĎDumbledore make some sort of tutting, amused response.í I can just imagine him doing it now!

Iím really glad that the last scene was focused on the Death Eaters and Alrekís demise as it acted as a conclusion to the entire Alrek storyline instead of dragging it out. I thought it was interesting that the scene was from Regulusí perspective as it added a certain level of humanity to the Death Eaters and I sort of got the feeling that he was shocked about what had happened, showing how young he really is. It showed in this line Ďboy writhing on the floor, twisting and turning in angles not natural for the human body, was a nameless, faceless creature.í

I just picked up on this tiny line from Alrek ĎďOdd that you are being called the smartest witch in generations. You were stupid enough to fall for every bit of my plan. Both you and Potter.ĒĎ you had changed all of his ws to vs beforehand but you hadnít here, so I thought I should point it out :)

This chapter was amazing, Jami ♥ Sorry if my review feels all over the place Iím not used to reviewing like this! It confused me too much when writing it so I think Iíll go back to rolling reviews :P

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! *Let me pause to copy and paste your review into a separate document.*

Okay, now that that's done! HI!

I'm sort of super pleased that you had to read it all at once and not do a rolling review, haha! That means I did a somewhat decent job of building the suspense!

I absolutely love what you said about her not realizing the gravity of the situation. I think at first when she was ready to fight no matter what, it didn't sink in that he was also ready to kill her no matter what. Aww I'm sorry I made you scared, but still secretly happy, haha!

The picture Lily talks to? Yes :) She uses her half whens he wants to tell James a few chapters back that they won't be in class. But it's a very small mention. I'm so happy you like it!

I'm so excited that you did feel like, for a bit there, Lily had given up. I didn't want to make her too strong, too unstoppable. Because, as amazing as she is, she's still a person and we all have our breaking point.

Yay! I really wanted to make it clear that Violet is just a self centered teenager. Most are at her age. She's not evil, but she doesn't think about her actions and that almost cost someone their life. A pretty big lesson for her to learn!

Oh god, anytime you can imagine Dumbledore doing something I wrote is a huge achievement for me. WHY does the man have to be such a challenge?!

Yes, Alrek served his purpose for this story and walked himself into his own death. I liked giving a conclusion to his storyline as well. He showed Lily and James how vincible they really are, made them understand (or at least voice) their opinions about one another after James thought he'd lost Lily for good, and now it was time to remind the DE that even they aren't beyond Voldemort's punishment.

Ahhh thank you for that correction!

I'm so happy you liked this chapter, and your review doesn't feel all over the place at all! I love reading how the different parts made you feel, and I'd love it even more if i could reach through and hug you!



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