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Review:MadiMalfoy says:
Hey there, here's your review as per requested! :)

I will go in order of how you have everything written in the Areas of Concern, so I shall start with flow. It flows very well, and the break between Hermione's POV and Draco's POV is very clean and obvious. I think your sentences vary a lot and the structure varies too so that is always a good thing. It is very consistent writing; it doesn't seem like one sentence is your writing and another is your beta's. I'm curious to see where Draco takes her also--the sort-of cliffhanger is great! I love writing them. :)

Description: I think you have quite a bit of description and that really helps to set the scene and get some background information on everything that's going on. You use a lot of different adjectives to describe things that happen, and that allows for better interpretation and so it doesn't get boring as well. You can always add more too if there are certain details you want to enhance that may have a role later on in the story too.

Believability: I love Draco/Hermione stories already, and I don't think Ron/Hermione works very well unless the story if written extremely well. You set it up so that Draco has to convince Hermione all while staying as close to canon as possible with their characters (they will be a little OOC just because it is a Draco/Hermione though of course), and you do that well in this first chapter. It's very plausible that Hermione would work for the Prophet or do some sort of writing after school and Draco would take charge of everything Malfoy.

My general thoughts are that this is an intriguing and different Draco/Hermione story than I usually read, so great job out of you! Just a few grammar/spelling errors here and there that interrupt the consistency, but nothing major. Be sure to re-request for future chapters! :) xx

Author's Response: MadiMalfoy,

Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. Thank you for your time to review my first chapter.

I hate reading chillhanger but I love writing them too. On this site you almost need them so the person comes back for more and more. I glad this chapter flows really. I have worked on it quite a bit.

When is come to description I always think "A good lie is in the details." It is hard to have too much despription but easy to not have enough.

Believability is a HUGE point for me since so many people aren't Dramione fans. thank you for pointing out what is believable in each character so I can continue that theme in future chapters.

thank you again for you time and great and insightful review.


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