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Review:Calypso says:
Ohmygosh Kiana, break my heart why don't you?! :P

I feel so awful for Remus. You really captured how shattering the deaths of his friends must have been for him. There was a flat, hopeless tone to his narration in this that really seemed to show his grief, and guilt and with all that, a kind of numbness. Right through the funeral, it felt like he was just going through the motions, almost as if he still couldn't take in what had happened.

Your characterisation of Remus was spot on. I liked his desperation not to attract attention, to the point where he was willing to turn up late to the funeral, and the way he wanted to make Harry proud but in a passive way. The whole bit with him thinking about Harry was really sweet, actually.

And oh the irony! Especially when Remus was lamenting that James and Lily hadn't chosen him or Peter as the Secret Keeper. And when he was feeling so guilty and responsible for Peter's death. I kept wanting to yell at the screen NO ACTUALLY PETER'S THE TRAITOR! :P But it really rubbed in how unfair Lily and James' deaths were, and how little it would have taken to have avoided them. :(

I loved the little detail of the worm in the soil, and "This is a rare case of the world of living colliding with the world of the dead." That line was seriously beautiful.

I also thought it was apt that he didn't break down until the end. The last two paragraphs were just perfect- his final words to Lily and James, the description of him "grazing" his fingers against their names, and then the final contrast between the celebrating world, and poor Remus' grief. Beautifully and subtly done.

I really enjoyed reading this!


Author's Response: Hi Bethany! Sorry about that, but now you know what poor old Remus was going through :P

I'm so glad that you liked his narration and that you picked up on all the emotions I was trying to get across. I've never been through grief as badly as he has but I can imagine that he would be going through, but like you said, I can imagine it would be as if he was just going through the motions.

I'm so glad that you liked his characterisation as I love him as a character and I didn't want to do it badly. I'm glad that you liked the bit about Harry as I always wondered why he didn't go after Harry so I had to come up with a solution to it.

I know! I couldn't help but laugh a little when writing that! I was yelling too, and I was making it happen so I would hate to think what Remus must have felt like when he realised it had been all wrong, and, again, like you said, showed how awful their deaths were by them being betrayed by their friend.

Eep thank you for saying it was beautiful ♥

I'm so glad that you liked the last two, as I only wanted him to break down then as the realisation hit him and he realised how awful it was.

Thank you for this lovely review, Bethany, it really made my day ♥


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