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Review:Calypso says:
Hello! I'm here from the forums!

Ooh a Grindelwald story! I think there's so much scope for interesting pieces of writing about the events with him and Dumbledore, so it's great to see somebody exploring that- and you did a great job of it!

I loved the description of the clearing in forest at the beginning. It was so spooky and atmospheric with the trees and the darkness and the mist; I could just picture it my mind. "No creature and no animal had stepped foot or paw in this clearing" was my favourite line there, I think, as it really showed what a dark place it was.

You really managed to get inside Grindelwald's head during this, and interestingly, I didn't feel that he came off as a completely bad person, and certainly not one without a conscience. I like the idea that he would be haunted by Ariana afterwards, and try to escape the responsibility for her death- that seemed to fit with his character.

So, the enourmous stuffed penguin. I did double take when I first read that! I understand that you had to fit it in for a challenge, but it was quite a contrast with the darkness of the rest of the chapter, and gave the whole thing a rather comedic feel... That said, I really liked the idea of it as a manifestation of Grindelwald's guilt. I would suggest maybe varying the way you describe it? Or somehow linking it to Ariana's death, so there's a reason *why* it's a stuffed penguin?

But your ending was just perfect! Grindelwald's stand against Voldemort fits beautifully with the way you've characterised him here, and I do like the idea that he redeemed himself somewhat right at the end. I was a a great idea to include it!

Overall, I thought this was a very spooky, well-written chapter!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

Grindelwald was interesting to write as the protagonist. There is so little written on him. As well as I haven't written a villain as one of my protagonists before.

I've added your suggestion of varying the penguin's description as a note in my chapter. I've been working on varying the description of the penguin. My first attempt didn't work, however, I've another idea that I'll be trying.

I've also added your suggestion of linking the penguin to Ariana's death to create the reason for the penguin's existence.

After reading how Grindelwald had stood against Voldemort, it seemed as if he had changed his views and had become remorseful for his actions before Albus had defeated him.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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