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Review:Calypso says:
Hey there! I'm here from review tag!

The beginning of this was really gripping! I liked how you started the whole chapter with a question- it was a good way of engaging your reader straight off. Her dreams certainly raise a lot of questions- I'm very intrigued as why she's getting them... I'm guessing it's something to do with Lily's reference to her difficult summer?

I'm not too sure about Lily so far... She seems like a nice person, but a bit melodramatic and self-centred, so I'll be interested to see how her frienship with Millie plays out.
I liked how you didn't portray James just as a crazy Lily-stalker, and actually made him seem like a normal teenage boy as well. Still, I'm not sure if being stuck between James and Lily is going to be a terribly comfortable place for Millie!

One thing that I found a bit confusing was whether they're at Hogwarts yet? Because with Lily and Millie being together and in such proximity to James and Sirius, I assumed that they were at Hogwarts, but then there are references to Diagon Alley, so you might want to try and clear that up!

Another thing I enjoyed was James and Sirius' conversation. It was very funny, and seemed quite realistic! It'll be very interesting to find out more about Millie- just what's haunting her, and what will happen with her and Sirius! A great first chapter!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hello! *waves cheerily*

You're correct in guessing that it has something to do with her difficult summer. And I'm happy to hear my opening gambit worked! Sometimes questions work, and sometimes, they don't.

Lily's supposed to be that way - and it's nice to hear that you're a bit conflicted about her! Hopefully, it means I'm writing an engaging story with somewhat complex characters!

James never struck me as a crazy Lily-stalker - I always thought he had too much pride for that, if nothing else. And it's an interesting position to be for Millie!

I knew I was forgetting something - LIKE WHERE ON EARTH THEY ARE! It's very silly of me, but I guess my only excuse other than getting a little carried away and not thinking things through, is that this was the first chapter of my first fic, and it definitely requires a bit of a rewrite - which is planned for once I've finished all of it. They're at Diagon Alley, by the way!

And there are a few more great James and Sirius conversations later - they're some of the most fun things to write in this story.

Thanks for the wonderful review!


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