Hello AW! You've been so lovely to review "The Seams" that I wanted to return the favor and review something of yours!
I must admit that I was a bit wary at first. I mean, Rose and Krum? It's definitely not your normal fanfiction story, but then, those are often the best, aren't they? Anyway, I figured, why not give it a shot and see what you've got up for sleeve. I'm honestly so glad I decided to just go for it. I'm already so intrigued and I've got a thousand thoughts and ideas running through my head about this story and it's only the first chapter.
There's nothing better than a good first chapter. You've definitely delivered that here. I enjoyed your stylistic choice to reveal their surroundings, still mysterious, a couple of paragraphs further into the piece. You didn't heap on loads and loads of descriptions before you began, but started almost immediately. It was like a slow transition into the scene - it reminded me of one of those opening to a movie that starts with a partial view of the scenic visage and then the characters appear - I thought it was a perfect way to begin the story.
The moment I became hooked was when the man in the suit said, "What will people say? Especially when they hear you screwed the mother too." It brings up so many questions! Why would Rose become romantically involved with a man who was also involved in such a manner with her own manner? Would that not repulse her or does that, in some way, fascinate her? Of course, how does Ron take the relationships, both past and present? So many questions - at once it is slightly disturbing and fascinating. I like that you're exploring a topic that is so different for the fanfictionr realm. Relationships with such a large age difference (thirty years!) are rarely written with justice in fanfiction, unfortunately. For some reason, I have this feeling that yours is going to be so tasteful. A large age gap is a bit of a taboo where I'm from and so the idea is super interesting for me!
The dialogue and descriptions were beyond reproach, even the glimpse of characterization we see was impeccable. I did see something that caught my eye. Not to nitpick, but the wording of this particular sentence threw me off a bit from the natural flow of your prose (which is fabulous, by the way!). The sentence: "The little of his body that was visible was dressed in a dark green uniform." - It's the first part of the sentence that is a bit stiff. I don't mean to nitpick and that's just my opinion, mind you :)
Overall, I enjoyed this so much. I like originality, and I like that you're taking a risk (at least it's risky to me! :P). I cannot wait to see what's in store!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Shelby! And I apologize for taking so long to respond to this lovely review. I know the pairing definitely isn't for everyone, but I appreciate you giving the story a look even if it wouldn't be your first pick. I've had so much fun writing the characters, it makes me so happy that anyone is willing to at least give it try :)
I'm so glad you liked the way this opened. I think most of us who write see their scenes unfold like a movie in our heads, but I do also like to draw a bit from the way movies are structured -- the way a really well-edited film is sort of tightly woven together. I don't always achieve it, but it's at least something I aim for.
I'll admit, I put that line in there to raise an eyebrow, but I definitely tried to steer clear of tawdry-ville as much as possible throughout the story. I love playing with relationships, and when I started writing this, I was really drawn to all the combinations of odd interactions that could pop up as the pairing played out. I think I was just as excited about exploring Rose and Krum's relationship as her subsequent relationship with her parents once word got out. Hopefully as the story progresses, the characters grow enough to be bigger than the odd situation they find themselves in.
It's not nitpicking at all! I cringe a bit when I reread some of these earlier chapters, so I appreciate you pointing that out. It is a little clunky. I think it might be that double "was."
Thank you again for such a nice review. I really, really appreciate it!