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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hiya, Elphaba here! :)

First of all, I like the change that you made with her failed apparition in the first chapter. It adds a bit more to the puzzle of just who is behind the attack at the cabin.

I think that the sterilization procedure is a bit drastic, but I like that it is her choice and that her family and Teddy respect her decision. I also like the scene where Teddy loses his temper, though I think that him "yanking" her from her chair is too extreme. That combined with telling her she's "stupid" for worrying is not very good boyfriend behavior. I would soften both of these moments if he really is supposed to be marriage material.

There's one little issue with time that I thought I should point out: "Before the two could discuss the matter further, a tin can glowing bright blue suddenly appeared in the room ... Apparently, the chief thought the matter of much importance if he couldn't wait until a day or so when they'd receive the owl." She just sent her owl to the chief a few moments before getting the portkey, and yet he was concerned that it might take a day for the return trip; do you see the flaw in his logic? I'm not quite sure how to fix it, but I'm sure there could be a simple explanation for him sending a port key in response.

I like that the rules on making and sending portkeys have been loosened up, and I really like the letter than he sends her. :) I had my suspicions that Delilah was involved! Now I'm very curious to see what Dom and Teddy will do next. Will they confront her right away? Or take time to plot revenge?

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked the failed apparition change.

The sterilisation is a bit drastic yeah but I felt it was needed. I am glad you like that it was her choice and the support she received. On second thought, you might be a right, it is a bit too extreme, so I'll edit and soften it =)

Oh thanks for pointing out that inconsistency. I had actually changed Dom's sending an owl to her sending a talking patronus, but I guess I posted the unchanged version. I'll definitely go back and fix it =)

I am pleased you liked the letter. Delilah was involved yes. What Teddy and Dom will do next will definitely show up in the next chapter.


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