Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:adluvshp says:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums. First off, apologies for the delay in doing this. Uni had me completely busy and it is only now that I got the time to check out my review thread and fill your lovely request! Anyway, on to the review xD

Well, when I first saw this was a Draco/Hermione, I was immediately excited because I love the pairing and haven't read a good Dramione in a long time. So, thanks for requesting =)

Your plot seems really good so far. I like how you've written the prologue, it immediately makes me want to read more to find out what events exactly took place before and after this. The style of writing also is somewhat dark and mysterious, and adds to the intrigue factor which I love.

Your descriptions are simply fabulous and I enjoyed them immensely. Though this was short, it definitely filled the purpose of a prologue - showed something in the story, gave a backdrop, set the scene, and established the plot, and now I am eager to see where this goes.

It flowed smoothly, and the transition from the beginning present to the past night was not choppy at all. There were no grammar errors that could disrupt the flow and the way you phrase your sentences only enhanced it which is great.

The characterisation looks interesting so far. Draco perhaps is a tad OOC but it is accepted in a Dramione. The only suggestion I'd give you is to perhaps provide a backstory or something of that sort to explain the change in him. Hermione eating ice cream and reading Romeo Juliet was very much in character, though I am curious to know why she was crying (in the past).

Over all, it looks good, and I am interested to read further. I don't have any CC to offer you =) Your story is promising so feel free to re-request!


P.S. I can't do any britpicking for you because I am not British xP

Author's Response: Hey there, no worries on the tardiness! :)

Prologues are fun to write because you get to give them just a little taste of what's to come. Draco is a bit OOC at the beginning but I'm working on keeping him as close to canon as possible (although he'll have to obviously be OOC a little because it's a Draco/Hermione) and will probably go back later and edit the earlier chapters for that.

Setting everything up was actually harder than I thought because I had to hint at things in the future that I didn't even know I was going to write yet while keeping everyone else in the dark. Keep reading, I'd love to get more feedback from you on the next few chapters as those are the ones I'm most worried about with characterisation and whatnot.

AP Language and Composition has beat it into--errr, taught me very well about grammar and sentence flow, syntax, and variability. It's really been a lot of fun, I guess, to be able to use all of the things I learned in a different way than usual, by writing fan fiction. :)

I do get to why Hermione was crying (in the past) in a later chapter, but I'm not quite sure which one it is. Thanks for being so interested, I'm so happy it's intrigued you and I will definitely re-request! :) xx

P.S. I know me either, so I'm just kinda like "eh, well, I'm not British so I can't help you there, sorry." when I get that on requested reviews too. xP

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 517
Submit Report: