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Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi Kiana!

First of all - awesome job describing the heat. I'm actually chilly right now, and would love to be in the sun, but you made me thankful for the mild weather and not to be in the sweltering heat :P!

I really liked the way you introduced us to Dalila, especially since Rose also seems to have met her first and maybe most important person for the article! We didn't get to know her a ton, but I enjoy what we are learning about her! She seems rather no nonsense, smart, loyal to her family and their business, and kind enough to invite a stranger in.

If I could suggest anything with that section, it might letting Dalila ask a few more questions about this article. What you have of her so far shows she's very smart and cares about her business, so many just asking to see proof that Rose is who she says, asking her a few questions about the profit... just so it doesn't seem like she's taking what Rose says completely at face value.

OH the meeting with Scorpius was lovely! He makes such a delicious curse breaker, haha! I like that you've made him from Ravenclaw and that he and Rose are obviously friends. Not the love hate stuff, but actual friends that enjoyed one another company in Hogwarts and still seem like they will. Having them both a bit older in this is also someone a really love.

This second chapter did not disappoint! I liked it even more than the first! I'm really excited to see where you go with this, m'dear! I know it's going to be an awesome story!



Author's Response: Hey Jami!

Haha, everyone who's reviewed loved the heat, it's quite surprising as I live in England and all but I suppose it's my wishful thinking!

I'm so glad that you liked the introduction of Dalila, as I always think it's really important how you introduce characters. Yeah I used to dump all the information on people at once, but then I figured it would be fun to weave it in throughout so I'm glad that you liked it!

Ooh that's a good idea actually! I felt that something was missing from that scene but I couldn't put my finger on it, so I'll definitely go back and edit that in!

Haha, that was my exact thought when I made him a curse breaker and it gave him a reason to be in Egypt so I went with it ;) I've read the love/hate stuff far too much and I thought as they were adults now they wouldn't be arguing so it's great that you liked it!

Thanks for this awesome review, Jami, and I enjoyed writing this chapter a lot more than the first too! ♥

-Kiana


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