Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:ChaosWednesday says:
Tag!

Ah, such a sad scene. Waking up and having to deal not only with her own shock but also with her family's pity must have been a trying experience for Dom. I enjoyed that you went full out with the grief. Having Dom push Ted away made sense and seems to foreshadow that their relationship will face some hard trials in the future.

I also found it interesting that you depicted Fleur as a weak/vulnerable kind of mother, whose emotions are more important to her than the desire to comfort her child. I suppose this fits Fleur and already hints at a certain distance that the two characters must have (and at a complex mother-figure, which is always great). I can imagine that Fleur's approval of Dom might have been strongly based on Dom's social and professional success. Now that that's gone, reconnecting with her mother might be Dom's greatest challenge as she disscovers the less perfect, less socially acceptible, beastly side of herself ;)

I did notice an inconsistency in Dom's outburst about Harry and Remus, though. First, she sais "Have you ever heard Uncle Harry talk about the night they rescued Sirius Black?!"
but then you seem to backpeddal and have her say : "I wouldnít have known any of it either if I hadnít accidentally stumbled upon that memory in his pensive. It's your story, of course, but I actually liked the image of Harry getting in a dark mood as all of the memories of the war catch up with him some late afternoon. I can fully imagine that he would tell the stories to the kids or - even better - the kids would overhear the adults reminisce over glasses of wine late at night during a family gathering at the Burrow. You covering your tracks in her dialogue like that broke an otherwise pretty great flow of Dom realizing what happened to her and, justifiably, freaking out. I don't think your characters will loose sympathy points if you have them say mean things about eachother once in a while - that's what people do when they are in pain.

Glad I had the chance to come back to this story and hope I could offer you some helpful feedback!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

It was a trying experience indeed and I am glad you could see it, and that you enjoyed the whole grief thing. Indeed, there might be a few hardships but they'll survive =)

Yeah, I never imagined that Fleur could be a very supportive mother, though of course her extreme distress could also be because of something else (remember there's still something Dom doesn't know about). Hmm well I am not too sure about the 'distance' between Fleur and Dom, you'll see for yourself how their relationship is in the coming chapters.

Oh thanks for pointing out that inconsistency. I totally didn't realise I did that! I'll definitely amend that part.

Thanks for your comments and advice!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 289
Submit Report: