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Review:marauder5 says:
Wow, this was really good! So you said that this was rather biased and yes, I agree. I like Lily and I can tell that your view on her is a lot different from mine. But nonetheless, this was so beautifully written, I love the style of it and the story itself is great.

"When we take our last breath, we do not pray for forgiveness or count regrets. Instead, we beg for one last chance; the one in a million chance to haunt the dreams of a mind feverish enough to turn us into something beautiful." - Wow. That is just absolutely amazing writing!! I love how you tied it all together in the end when Lily thought that only in Snape's twisted mind, she could be truly beautiful. I think that was my favourite part of the entire story!!

I do have a little CC for you. The first one is Lily's characterization when she's talking to Snape about getting revenge on the marauders. I just can't see that happening. She's so against any dark arts, I just don't believe that she would want to physically hurt them. I'm sure she'd detest a spell like Sectumpsempra, and that she'd only agree to maybe humiliating them or hurting them verbally. Especially since we see in Snape's memory of her how she's basically disgusted with the actions of his future Death Eater friends, because she hates violence. Well, this is my personal opinion of course, and you ARE allowed to disagree ;) haha!

The other thing is the tense you write in. I felt like it changed a lot, and in some places you could make it easier on the reader by keeping the same tense. For example, in this paragraph: "And Snape? He is skulking in the shadows, clenching his diploma and massaging his stinging left forearm. By then, he had already sold his soul. And, to him, Lily Evans was already dead."

Here's how I would write it: "And Snape? He is skulking in the shadows, clenching his diploma and massaging his stinging left forearm. By now, he has already sold his soul. And, to him, Lily Evans is already dead."

I hope you understand what I mean :) And these are very minor things. All in all, I think that this was REALLY good, I'm glad I came across it and you wrote it beautifully!!

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