Hey, KiwiOliver here from the forums :)
I know this first bit isn't really a chapter review, but I love the story summary! It's strong, bold and enticing!
I think you pulled off Percy really well in this chapter, he's proud, has high opinion of himself, but we can still see the fact he's been hurt. In the original books we don't really get Percy's POV and I think you've done him justice here.
I'm glad that he missed his family, it would be inhuman not to, but like I say, we never get to see that side of him, so props for that.
The transition from before he realized to after is extremely smooth and well done.
The ultimatum note from Aberforth was a brilliant idea, off the top of my head I'm pretty sure it's not mentioned in the book how Percy knew what was going down, so that was a good idea. Especially since it makes Aberforth look like he has his brothers personality and compassion!
I love how you brought it to an end in a nice pace, it wasn't Percy rushing to get there in blind madness, he took his time and decided, and on the last line, he came to the biggest decision of his life. (Which by the way is summed up in a brilliant line).
Overall this was a very well written chapter, I'm not an expert on grammar/spelling but I don't spot any clear mistakes. It flows really well and doesn't have any unnecessary detail.
I hope my review was okay, I'll be checking back to see the next installments :)
Author's Response: Hi, and thank you so much for the swap! I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and I'm really happy I got to review your story as well :)
Glad you liked the summary! It was one of those things that just flowed out without much thought, and strangely enough it ended up working. Haha, sometimes the best things come without a lot of effort :P
I always kind of felt bad for Percy because he was so misunderstood. But he still made some pretty bad choices. I tried to make him sympathetic and still realistic. I'm really happy you liked him! And I'm happy you liked the ending; you're right, he's a person who would think the decision through, and I'm glad the ending reflected his personality.
Yeah, I'm not sure it was mentioned either, so I just sort of made something up :) Even though Aberforth is kind of gruff, I still imagine he would have helped someone out who was in trouble.
Thanks so much for this lovely review! It was definitely better than okay :D I really appreciate your time, and hopefully I'll have the next installment up soon!