My goodness, how did I stumble accross something so amazing? Did I just fly face down onto the pavement of Knockturn Alley after binging on magical alc? Phew, I feel dizzy...
Your writing style is wonderful, is what I'm trying to say! It really shows that you take the time to pick the right words and to evoke the right imagery, no matter how seemingly small or insignificant the details might be. I don't even know how to begin to put into words how refreshing that is around here.
I could really feel Draco's state of suspended animation. How do you set goals in life and, say, have breakfast and then spend the afternoon in the library or whatever after finding yourself on the wrong side of a world war? I guess you don't...
I must admit, thought, I enjoyed the story until the appearance of Astoria a lot more than after. First, the ideal, kind, unpredjudiced, slightly funny but not intimidating, pretty angel saviour role is a bit, well - I'll try not to sound like I'm waving the angry feminist axe around - but that's how a character stops being a character and becomes a plot device. I hope you see what I mean - add some more giggliness and maybe some petty theft, and you have the typical Manic Pixie Dream Girl Trope right there. It's only the first chapter and she has already literally dragged Draco out of the gutter and changed his life just by giving him a sandwitch.
The way she fits into the surrounding world is also a bit confusing. Why would she want to help the slobbering, smelly ex-death eater/former classmate that never paid attention to her? And in front of all those people when her family's reputation is probably shaky as it is, being Slytherins and pure-bloods and all? Is she on some sort of rebellious bad-girl streak? And if she is, then why does she seem to genuinely care about Draco? And if she is just a caring person that way, why was she so blatantly flirting? And if she just always found Draco attractive, then.wouldn't there be some sort of bitterness in her tone at the fact that the only way she could get his attention is by being the only one that helps him when he is desperate? These sort of inconsistencies stand out all the more the better the writing, so, uh, try to see it as a compliment!
Ugh, there I go again, rambling away! Where is that firewhiskey? Anyways, as this is review tag, I don't even know if you like CC, but I hope I could give you some new useful perspectives or something. And I'm actually quite convinced that you will take care to develope the Love Interest in the following chapters(which I'm ging to check out now! :)).
Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you had a chance to stumble across my story. It has been known to cause a bit of dizziness in the past, but mostly just to me.
I'm glad that you like the writing style. I really do my best to think thought how things are going to sound when read, and it's great to hear that it works for you. When I read other people's work, I often find that the "insignificant" details are the ones that help me connect with a scene.
Draco has found himself on the wrong side of pretty much everything, even his "own people", aka the other purebloods. The Malfoys are trusted by neither side at this point.
One thing to keep in mind about Astoria in this is that you're seeing her through Draco's eyes. And Draco is at rock bottom at the moment he encounters her, depressed, intoxicated and humiliated. So she does come off a bit angelic to him. Don't worry, you'll see more sides of her before it's all said and done. As far as why she's so nice to him, well, she's just a nice person. And she does enjoy the fact that this person who barely noticed her for 5 years is suddenly paying rapt attention.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!