Hey there, here with your review battle review :)
First of I want to say, your story brought a tear to my eye. I've always imagined Petunia regretted the way she treated her sister. That after she died all she wanted was to have her back so she could give her one last hug and tell her she loved her and I also believe that it was the same way with Harry. That when she knew that she would most likely never see the boy again, that he didn't love her like he should love his aunt, his adoptive mother, that it broke her heart a little more and you really brought that out in this story.
It definitely has a good beginning and ending too it, the way it starts with her blaming Lily for everything that happened to her, for leaving and it ends with Petunia deciding that it was in fact her fault that all this happened, she just hadn't seen it. It gives a nice flow to the story, a nice beginning and ending. In a one-shot or songfic that's really important, that it has a strong beginning and ending, since they are so short, you need to compact basically an entire story into one short chapter and it's important that you make the parts you want people to see, stand out. That's what you did here and it's great.
I have one little nit picky thing. Throughout the one-shot, it seems almost as if, Petunia is writing a letter, one she might leave at the house as she departs, saying her goodbyes to Lily as she says goodbye to Harry, however at the end it gets a bit confusing as you make it almost as if you aren't reading from Petunia's perspective, that you are more a fly on the wall that is being told a story by Petunia. You might want to check on that. Even adding an 'about' as if in pretence for what she would or make it past tense, that she is thinking about all this while she is in the car, remembering the letter she wrote or the things she just did. That would make it flow just that little bit better, but that's just me being nit picky. You don't need to change it if you don't want too. It's great just as it is.
Author's Response: Hello there! Thank you for stopping by!
Oh wow really? That's amazing to hear! (Not that it's usually amazing to bring tears to peoples' eyes, but you know what I mean!)
Yes, I feel exactly the same way about Petunia: that is wouldn't have been as easy to sever ties with Lily as she lets on it was. And I'm sure that there was some regret about Harry there too- I thought that that scene near the beginning of DH is very telling, when she almost speaks to him, but doesn't...
I'm glad you liked the structure of it too, and the way that the blame sort of changes in Petunia's mind. It's also great to hear that the parts that were significant stood out enough!
Hmmm, I see what you mean actually. I hadn't initially imagined this as a sort of letter, but I can definitely see your point, and how it would flow better if I put that bit in the past tense... Thanks very much!
This was such a lovely, helpful review- I really appreciate it!