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Review:-BookDinosaur- says:
-BookDinosaur- here with a review for the Ravenclaw review battle! (Team Blue all the way!)

So, I really enjoyed reading this chapter! The banter that went on between Hugo and Audrey was amazing, really light and easy to read. I think that both of them are really well characterised already-you've already given them flaws so I know they're not going to turn out as Mary Sues. You've made them really natural and real in my mind, so well done for that, especially as this is only the first chapter.

The flow of this story was good, I liked the way you skipped ahead to two hours later rather than unfolding everything blow-by-blow for us, because it was much more interesting that way, it added a little bit of mystery and suspense to the story.

I loved the ending, how she found her first real friend. But that's probably because I'm a real softie underneath (shhh! Don't tell anyone!).

My CC for you would probably be just read through it again-there aren't any mistakes, but there are definitely a few things that could be phrased less awkwardly, the first couple of sentences being an example.

Anyway, all in all, a wonderful first chapter that really sucked me in and made me want to continue reading.

Author's Response: eeek i get so emotional about slow metabolism reviews ;A;

but this is so lovely (': thank you so much for the kind words! and i know what you mean -- i want to rewrite the first few chapters at least. hopefully i will find the time to do this at some point in july. lots of things need to be cleaned up in my opinion.

it's alright WE'RE ALL SOFTIES. hell, even hugo's a softie. he just pretends to be all macho and stoic.

thank you so much for this review!


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