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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! magnolia_magic here with your review...finally. Needless to say I've been procrastinating a lot. But I'm here! I'm so glad you requested this...I really enjoyed reading it :)

I'm sure this is nothing new for you to hear, but I'm in awe of your beautiful writing style. This piece is so lyrical and gorgeous, and you have so many great lines of description. I was completely immersed in this story from the very beginning, because the imagery and language is just so haunting. I especially love the second section, at the part when Hermione is describing her guilt while looking at Ron's picture. It was all so striking, but that part just really got me for some reason.

This piece is just so very emotional, and I felt swept away by it; I felt real pity and sadness for these characters, without fully knowing why. It's a true gift to be able to conjure real emotion in readers, and this piece definitely did that for me. I can't applaud you enough for that!

Like I said, I think this is a beautiful, artful read, and you did a stellar job with the style of it. I also think your characterization may have suffered just a bit because of that. For me, this story could have been about absolutely anyone; the fact that it's Hermione and Draco is a minor, almost irrelevant detail. It just depends on what's important to you: if you want to make these characters seem real, then by all means flesh them out. I would have loved to see something that made these characters distinctive; in fact, that was the one thing I searched for as I was reading that I didn't find. How did their relationship start? What drew them to each other? How have they changed since Hogwarts, and how are they the same? Deeper answers to questions like that could add a lot to this piece.

But! If you want the whole thing (including the characters) to feel vague and hazy, then you've definitely accomplished that here. I see it as a matter of personal preference; I would rather be impressed by characters than style, but I know a lot of readers feel the opposite way. And this is the kind of writing style that's going to impress a lot of people (including me!)

One thing I really did like is the idea of fear that runs through the entire piece. It almost seems like their relationship starts as a way for Hermione to forget her fear, but by the end it has become a source of fear. It's a very sad outcome, and I think you did a great job with that idea. You clearly have a talent for angst :)

Thank you so much for requesting, and I apologize again for the wait! I really enjoyed reading this piece. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk further, and to re-request any time! Keep up the great work :)

--Maggie

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