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Review:nott theodore says:
Hello! I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this but since this has been my first day of freedom since exams finished, I've been out with friends and only just got back :)

I actually read the previous chapter of this when it was just a one-shot, and I think it's a really interesting idea to extend this into a short story collection and explore the ways different characters ending up following down this path.

It was actually a really interesting premise for the story - you don't find many people writing about Draco becoming a Death Eater and I definitely enjoyed reading it.

Characterisation definitely seems to be one of your strengths. I thought that each of the characters was written very well, keeping in line with their canon counterparts - Draco in particular. I felt that he had a lot of depth here, even though this was quite a short story. His conflicting emotions were clearly conveyed through your writing: the fear, the annoyance with his peers, the desire to prove himself. There was quite a serious undertone to his thoughts, as though his father's imprisonment had caused him to realise that there were bigger things than school, and that soon he would have to face things that he was wholly unprepared for. I also loved the way that Draco kept referring to Harry as "Saint Potter" - I could feel the sarcasm and contempt dripping from those two words, and it did seem to be exactly in character with the Draco we know from the books.

The other characters who played more of a supporting role in this story were also well characterised; they each had some depth to them, even though we saw them very briefly. Narcissa had the natural concern of a mother for her son, and I thought that you illustrated that well when she searched for them on the train.

Bellatrix was fantastic. I can definitely imagine Draco being scared of his aunt, especially when she's around Voldemort. It's like she's possessed by an almost religious fervour and I think that contrasts effectively with the "unholy glee" that crossed her face when she learnt her nephew would be welcomed into the fold.

I thought that you rounded off the story really well. I felt really sorry for Draco and it showed that he didn't have a choice in the matter, and was maybe as much of a victim of the war and the family he was born into as some of the Muggle-borns who died.

I noticed a few errors and mistakes:
"He could have cared less who won the Quidditch Cup" -- couldn't have
The sentence starting with "She had taken all three off the train..." needs an 'and' somewhere.

This story had great characterisation and description, and it was a really enjoyable read!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I got to thinking about all those other dark wizards/witches and realized I really should make this a collection of one-shots instead of having their own separate one-shot story. :) I do have a small selection that is in work.

I also get the feeling that Draco was caught up in events past his control.

I have made the two corrections you pointed out.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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