Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:BellaFan202 says:
Hi!

So glad you decided to request this chapter. I really enjoy this story, even though it can be a little bit difficult to follow sometimes because of spelling and grammar mistakes, which was kind of frustrating. There was only one time where I couldn't figure out what you were trying to say, though.

Anyway, I really am interested in where this story is going. This chapter had quite a bit of background story, which I thought was helpful.

However, I feel like Emy (just going to call her that, it's shorter. :P ) is a bit like a 1950s house wife. I feel like she shouldn't be waiting on James just exactly like that. I mean, sure, it's nice to make him dinner when he gets home and stuff, but the way you described it, it made it seem like she does that for him all the time. Maybe I'm being a little bit too opinionated, so feel free to ignore me, but that's just what I think.

I also think that they really seem like they love each other, because I thought that the marriage wasn't out of love. I'm not saying that they couldn't fall in love, I'm just saying that Emy kept saying that it wasn't "that kind of marriage" but then, there they are, standing in the kitchen, hands all over, playing with each others hair. I think that that would be fine for the story, but I also think that it would be less confusing if you could pick how they are with each other and stick with it.

(I really hope I'm not sounding really harsh, because I'm not trying to be. I'm just trying to get in everything I want to say. D: )

But I do feel like this story could go places. It's got a very interesting plot, and I'm extremely excited to see where it goes from here. I really hope to get Aiden and Emma involved a little bit more, because kids are really cute ok. I also really liked the line where Aiden said "I'm a big boy, Emma's a baby." At the time I was just like "ok" but then I realized they're the same age and then I thought it was cute. :)

Don't forget to request the next chapter whenever you post it! :)

~BellaFan202~

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 814
Submit Report: