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Review:BellaFan202 says:
Hi!

That was interesting. I'm not sure I understand the purpose of the penguin. I mean, I understand that it's supposed to be threatening and such but... a penguin? Is there supposed to be some symbolic meaning to it? I don't know maybe I'm just missing something.

Don't get me wrong, this was really good. Really good. I was interested it what was going to happen. I was immediately pulled into the story, which smoothly went into the middle, which flowed into the end, which was nice. Everything was smooth and flowy. Very good.

Obviously, I don't know a whole lot about Grindewald, but from what I can tell, he stayed pretty in character the whole time. Same for Ariana.

I think you did a really good job balancing the description and the dialogue. I kind of could picture the whole scene, but it wasn't so descriptive that I was like "okay get on with it" you know. And I really love dialogue. You can almost never have too much dialogue with me. :P I do like description too, though, so I think you did a really good job with that.

The only think I can think of to say is that you missed a few commas here and there. I would recommend just reading over the chapter. There are only a few missing and none of them are too major.

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much!

The penguin is the Thing in the challenge. We had to select a setting (Forbidden Forest), a protagonist (Gellert), an antagonist (Ariana) and a Thing (penguin).

The penguin is the manifestation of Gellert's guilt. He can't run away from it and it only disappears after he feels remorse.

I've added the note to find the missing commas.

As a note, I can understand about stories being too descriptive. I had read one book where I was positive the author was describing each and every tree in the forest and took what seemed like 20 pages to describe said forest. Unfortunately, I had to read it all. Which is why I want to make certain there is balance between description/dialogue.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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