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Review:Aphoride says:
Hey there - dropping your requested review by again! Sorry about the wait - this weekend was a bit busy for me! :)

I really liked this again! I think Dominique's characterisation is really good - you're really exploring all of the things a real-life girl would think, even if in the privacy of her own room and not voice to anyone, if something like that had happened to her. Of course she would be worried, needlessly or not, that Teddy wouldn't still love her, that her family were just saying those things and didn't mean them... it's so natural and I love it :)

The one thing I did think about Dom is that when you have her editor ask her to do the personal piece about werewolves, you sort of suggest that Dom is angry, but... there's no anger. I just couldn't feel any of it, there was no sense that she felt that the action was wrong or rude or hurtful... it was a bit odd, and Dom's voice is normally so clear, so it stood out to me quite a bit.

That being said, I love the way you have her editor react. She's very much a businesswoman, first and foremost. I suspect that she may not be deliberately trying to upset Dom, but think this is a great idea, and be pretty tactless about it all, you know? She also kind of differs from the way the wizarding world reacted to Remus, you know - she doesn't seem too bothered about werewolves, you know? It's nice to see that she's just tactless rather than prejudiced or horrible. I hope we see more of her - I think she would be a fun character to explore.

Your style was great as always. I thought the flashback in italics might be a bit long. I know some people's eyes hurt while reading large blocks of italicised text. While mine don't, it might be something worth bearing in mind for future chapters/projects which may require it, you know? It's not something to change necessarily, but I thought I should mention it anyway.

Yeah, style was great, there were no mistakes, nothing disrupted the flow. I do think you need to make more out of the emotions she's feeling in this chapter, because it feels very much like a filler chapter, but that's really it and it's just something to think about when you edit :)

So yeah, I'm still really enjoying this - feel free to re-request whenever! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing. Apologies for the delay in responding!

I am glad you're liking Dominique's characterisation and you found her thoughts natural and enjoyed it all.

Ah I see what you mean. I'll surely go back and edit this chapter sooner or later (when Uni lets me) and then I'll remember your suggestion. I must include that anger!

The boss is quite unsympathetic, very businesslike, and not at all tactful yes. There're more 'revelations' coming about her soon too! You may be shocked xP

I am pleased you liked my style. I'll see what I can do about the flashback(s) =) Thanks.

No mistakes and good flow? That's a huge compliment! Thank you. Well yeah it was very much of a filler chapter but I'll try to bring out more of her emotions in future ones. I am glad you're enjoying this.

Thank you for such a long, thoughtful, and helpful review! I'll definitely re-request!


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