Wow, this was amazing!
Your writing style is simply beautiful- I love the way it flows. The scene at the beginning, on the cliff completely hooked me- which I think can be difficult to do with description. It was so vivid and so forceful- I could really feel Victoire's anguish in it.
I also loved the way you brought up the issue of women having to deal with unplanned pregnancies in a way that men don't. It was quite subtle, but no less impactful for it, and I think Victoire's anger and frustration about it are totally understandable. I felt so sorry for her! And the metaphor where her house became a courtroom was stunning.
I loved the contrast between her attitude to Teddy in that first scene, and her atttitude to him in the scene of Platform 9 and 3/4. Your wrote their kiss so prettily :) I liked that you worked in the fact that he's a metamorphmagus, as often people seem to sort of forget that when writing about him. And James was so cute! I thought that Teddy's response to him was great as well. You also brought across the irony of all Victoire's hopes and love for Teddy really well in that scene- again making the contrast with the first part all the more painful...!
One of the things that really struck me about this story is how beautifully and realistically your portray Victoire- to me, she seems to behave just like a normal teenage girl. You've done a great job of giving her a three dimensional personality- just because she's concerned with her studies it doesn't mean she doesn't want to have a night out with her friends sometimes!
I also liked how you brought across the dynamics between her and friends.
On a slightly separate note, I liked seeing the rather different side to Neville that you portrayed in this- it was interesting to see him as a firm, if still kind, teacher.
I also really liked her outburst in Neville's office- it had the potential to be somewhat cliched, but it really works, I think because you've shown us how out of character it is for, and that she's normally very keen to please, and also because she regrets what she's done almost immediately after. So well done for that!
All in all, I thought this was a wonderful chapter- absolutely beautifully written, realistic and believable. I'll be looking out for updates!
Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for the late response to this review; future replies will be more prompt, I assure you! ♥
Thank you so much! I'm glad that the opening scene captivated you so much, and that you enjoyed my subtle hints of feminism :P It's great to hear that you liked the courtroom metaphor too!
I felt that the cliffside scene was rather depressing, and I wanted to lighten up the one-shot a little (at the time of writing September, I was convinced that J17 was going to be a one-shot!) and also include a canon scene, so I used what we know from the epilogue but which we didn't explictly see ;)
Ah, yes! I've read a couple of teen pregnancy stories which depict the teenager as getting drunk for the first time and ergo falling pregnant, and while that can be written well, I wanted to show something different - something that represents another type of teenager, since not all teen girls are the same ;) I'm pleased that you're enjoying this aspect - and I agree with you, just because Victoire is Head Girl doesn't mean she's a goody-two-shoes :P
Neville has never struck me as the type of person to turn a blind eye to rule-breaking - just look at him in PS! So I knew he would punish the girls, but in a more refined style than when he was eleven ;)
And yes - I was a bit worried about that, but I wanted to keep Victoire realistic. We've all let our emotions get the better of us once in a while and said something bad and immediately regretted it, which is what's Victoire's doing here. I'm super-happy you thought I kept it away from the cliches, because I want to keep J17 as cliche-free as possible :3
And thank you so much for all of your lovely compliments!