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Review:Lululuna says:
Hello my dear, I'm sorry about the lateness of this review as the airport I was at has internet troubles! But I'm here now! :) I remember starting this story and really liking it, but somehow I forgot to get back to it! This chapter flows so smoothly off the first one, and I feel like you kept the tone of the piece going while adding new details to Daphne and Astoria's characters. You write third person very smoothly and descriptively while giving a clear impression of the character's personality, which can be tricky to do! :)

It's interesting that it wasn't Draco who Astoria was leaving: I guess we'll find out more about him in future chapters! The name Adrian Pucey actually sounds vaguely familiar- was he a random student in the HP books? I think you did a really good job of making their breakup seem realistic, and I loved Astoria's comment about her husband being unhappy as well, even if he showed it in different ways. It really demonstrated her character as being very open and obvious, and maybe even a little self-centered. I'm curious to see how Adrian will take her dramatic exit!

Poor Daphne, putting others before herself! I sense that if Daphne had showed up on Astoria's doorstep, Astoria would have still gone out for the dinner, while Daphne would never consider leaving her sister. You've done a really good job of showing the differences between the two sisters, and I loved the line about Astoria's world existing in black and white binaries, while Daphne's decisions are always clouded. It made me wonder if we'll find out more in regards to their positions during the war, and how much it affected Daphne in comparison to Astoria. However, there were also the small details showing how well the sisters know each other and care for each other despite their differences, like Astoria being able to tell that Daph loves Theo. It was sweet! :)

I love the little details you've put into making the wizarding world unique to this story, like Astoria arriving with a full "trunk," and Daphne wearing her dress robes on her night out with Theo. The Floo call to the Ministry made me laugh, especially Daph's annoyance at the operator, it was really well integrated and realistic. I'm excited to learn more about Theo: he seems really likeable so far, and a good match for Daphne, but I'm sure it's not going to be that easy.

I really liked this, and I'll hopefully be back sooner rather than later! Thanks for the swap! :)

Author's Response: Hello there! Wow, first off I've got to say thankyou for this review, and all the other ones I can see sitting above it! It was such a lovely surprise this morning! ♥

I'm glad that you liked the way the last chapter flowed into this one- this is the longest fic I've properly attempted, so the pacing and the plotting are a real challenge for me! I'm glad you like the third person narrative- I'm usually way more comfortable in the first person (and actually, thinking about it, I'm not entirely sure how this ended up in the third person!) so it's good to know that's working!

Yep- Draco makes his appearance later :P Adrian Pucey was a Chaser on the Slytherin Quidditch Team for a bit- so a very, very minor character! I like what you've got about Astoria's character from the break-up, and that it all seemed realistic!

I think Daphne feels a sort of duty of care towards her little sister. I'm so glad that you picked out that line as it kind of sums the two of them up (and I was quite proud of it!) They are very different people, but hopefully over the course of the story, their relationship will evolve...

I'm so pleased that you noticed the little wizarding details, as I try really hard to put them into stories! I think you'll meet Theo in the next chapter, or the one after- it was kind of difficult to fit him in to the early section and their Floo call was one of the ways of doing that, so it's good to know that you enjoyed it!

Thanks again for such a kind, detailed review! It made me so happy- thank you for doing the swap! ♥

-Bethany


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