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Review:Calypso says:
Hello! Here with my half of the review swap from the forums :)

Ohh gosh this was sad! There was a horrible irony to the whole thing, that just made me feel so sorry for all of the characters!

I absolutely loved your characterisation of Alice; I thought it was perfect, as well as being original- a lot of the time she's presented as being clever, popular and Lily's best friend, but I think your portrayal is not only more interesting but more realistic, considering that she is Neville's mother!
She actually really reminded me of Luna during this, with the way she's bullied, but is still very caring and has her little eccentricities that the people who love her just accept. I really liked how you brought across her love for Neville- it was so touching and heartbreaking, and I enjoyed the way you highlighted the things that Neville and Alice have in common, even though neither of them will ever know it...

My only piece of CC is that I thought you could have developed her relationship with Frank a little more. The bits you wrote of them together were wonderful- I loved the way she described him near the beginning, as well as the first time they kiss, but I would have loved more of a sense of them as a couple...

The scene at the church where the Death Eaters came was brilliantly written- very dramatic. I felt genuinely scared for the family! I really thought that you captured the kind of insecurity and danger that must have existed during the First War, as well as the unfairness of it all- that so many innocent people lost so much.

And honestly, the ending was so beautiful and perfect and devastatingly sad. Seeing the Alice you created in this piece of writing being destroyed like that was horrible (but really good writing!) I loved how there were still fragments of their old life left, but they'd all been twisted, and the way you changed round that phrase about Frank was just wonderful.

This was an incredibly emotional and beautifully executed piece of writing... I really enjoyed swapping with you!

-Bethany

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm glad you liked this little story, and the fact that it brought up emotions is wonderful to hear! I had a very specific idea of the essence of Alice, and am glad that it came across as likeable and believable. I made her a combination of Neville, Luna, and something all her own, and loved imagining her sometimes silly and always loving personality. Her love and eventual seperation from Neville is just so heartbreaking, and I really wanted to do it justice. :)

I'm really glad you pointed that out, and I'll definitely try and fit in a little more about her relationship with Frank when I edit the story. I had all these images of their marriage in my head, but somehow they didn't translate onto paper, but I'm happy to hear you liked the descriptions that there were! :)

I'm glad you liked the scene at the church and the dramatic descent of the Death Eaters! The war was just so unfair and tragic - they always are - and I'm glad that came across, though I felt quite bad for doing that to the lovely characters! :(

I'm really happy you liked the ending, I actually got a little emotional while writing it! Poor Alice and Frank. :( Thank you so much for this lovely review darling! :)


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