Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! magnolia_magic here with your review!

I really enjoyed this story. While I was reading the books I always did sort of wonder what was going through Dumbledore's mind when he put on the ring. I loved your take on this missing moment!

You asked about descriptions in your request, and I thought they were absolutely beautiful. I was really struck by the detail you put into the sword, and the contrast between that and the ring. The time you spent describing those objects really gave them a lot of significance, and I loved that.

And as for Dumbledore himself, I think you did well capturing his remorse about his family situation. The part of this that really hit me was when he was imagining what he would say to each of his family members. That was really emotional for me, and I'm sure a lot of your other readers have felt the same way. Great job with that!

As for the flashbacks, I think they worked really well overall. The only part I might work on is the paragraph that begins with "The scene changed." To me, that sounds too much like the descriptions JKR used when Harry was in the Pensieve. I would try for a phrase that sounds a little different. But other than that, I think the flashbacks worked well, and the scenes you showed us were well-chosen. I felt like I was really getting a sense of where Dumbledore's guilt stemmed from.

You did a great job with this piece! I'm so glad I got to read it. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more, and re-request any time!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for taking the time to do this!

It makes me so happy to hear that you enjoyed this. I'm also glad that the descriptions seemed to work, and that they gave those two objects the significance they really had in this one-shot. It's also a relief that Dumbledore seemed to be in character - he's such a tricky one, isn't he? Yes, his story is so tragic in itself, and just imagining what he would say to them, if he had the chance, was quite sad for me too, actually.

Thanks for pointing out that certain paragraph. I'll have a second look at it and see if I can try to change it a bit. It's great that you think that the flashbacks were well-chosen, though!

Thank you for your lovely comments and encouragement, and for the helpful suggestions. I appreciate it so much, and I'm thrilled to hear that you thought it was good. You're awesome for doing this, so thank you (again!) :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 842
Submit Report: