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Review:CambAngst says:
Hi, Jami!

So, you asked for my opinions. In my opinion, you've given Oliver an excellent back story for the years following the war. I thought it hit all the right notes: the struggle with grief and guilt left over from the battle, the unity with his friends and the very gradual process of healing and moving forward with life. Oliver definitely makes a good coach; he always had that sort of personality. His choice of lifestyle -- dating casually, not getting involved in anything long-term -- also meshes well with his career ambitions and probably the lingering emotional scars from the battle. I feel like you're setting up a number of things here.

Aiden is an awesome little kid. Definitely a bit precocious, but only children and children of single parents often seem to be for whatever reason. At any rate, he fills his role in the story very well.

Mia had a lot of interesting angles to her in her first appearance. She's obviously very cautious around strangers. It made perfect sense for a single mother with a very outgoing young son. I thought her reactions were well done. Oliver was making a bit of headway with her when he accidentally stepped into the husband trap. He recovered from it pretty well, though. Not too hard to see that he's rather taken with her, or at least thinks he might be.

Let's see, what else can I add? You did a nice job describing the people and places, especially the newcomers like Mia and Aiden. I had good, clear pictures of the two of them in my head. You translated Mia's facial expressions and body language into words really well, too. That was key, I think, because her reactions told so much of the story.

Your writing was really good, as always. Everything flowed really nicely and it was easy to follow. The chapter felt shorter than it actually was.

Great start!

Author's Response: Dan! This story sort of came out of know where, didn't it? Ha!

I've never really read an Oliver story, so I'm excited to see how that influences my portrayal of him. He sort of has some Charlie pieces in my head -- stubborn and driven. But I think he'd end up really wanting to be a family man, whereas I'm pretty sure Charlie never would have taken that leap. Anyway...

Single moms sort of fascinate me. The strength that must take is always something I've thought really amazing, so Mia and Aidan sort of started the idea for this story. I wanted an independent woman who had to work for everything she got, which increased tenfold after she had her child. And I wanted a little boy who was a little more of an observer than most children his age, and thinks he's a lot older than he really is. So we'll see if they actually develop that way :P

I'm so happy you liked the start of this! I hope I can keep up with this one :P



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