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Review:MadiMalfoy says:
Hey there, great one-shot! I like that you wanted to write about Alice and Frank Longbottom--they really don't get the credit nor the mentions they should, especially in the movies!

As far as plot goes, I don't think you have any parts missing or obvious plot holes that lessen the understanding of the piece for the reader. One thing I would have liked to see that you can add later would be the actual scene of how Alice and Frank were attacked by Bellatrix, just to get the whole effect, and to see how Neville was told about what happened to his parents, his reaction, etc. Other than that, I think you have all the bases covered plotwise!

The voice and characterization are a little bit more difficult for me, as I've never really thought about what Frank and Alice were actually like before they were tortured. However, I think your portrayal really captured the essence of their beings and how they would act in a crisis where there was the chance their son and friends and family would die, or themselves. I do like how you voiced it, like it was just Alice recalling memories that she can't quite understand anymore yet remembers vividly. The tension she felt towards Marlene McKinnon made it very clear that Alice would do anything for her son if it meant that he could live and grow up in a world without the darkness of Voldemort. The little detail that Lily Potter was the Longbottom's Secret Keeper made the connection between the two boys' fates and their parents closer, which I thought was an excellent idea! :)

Finally, the writing style was great! You don't have hardly any grammar mistakes, but that's just my AP Language & Composition brain hard-drive going a little crazy because of that class! No spelling errors or anything remotely dysfunctional in the writing whatsoever, so great job out of you on that one! :)

Overall, a finely written story, and I loved the topic! Great work! :) xx
~MadiMalfoy

Author's Response: Hello! I actually got the idea from a challenge, but I agree, they definitely deserve some more love in FF!

I'm glad you didn't think there were any obvious plot holes. And I really like the idea of what Neville was told about the attack and his parents, even if it's only a few lines! Thanks for the suggestions! :)

I'm also pleased that you liked the portrayals of Alice and Frank! Since we don't know much about them it gave me a lot of free reign, and I loved getting into their heads. I imagined her being a very loving and protective person. I'm glad you liked the addition of Lily as well! :)

Thank you so much for this really lovely review! :)


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