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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!

I like your perspective on Fenrir Greyback. I've never sympathized with him, but you make a strong case for empathy, here.

There are many lines that rung very true to me, like this: "if he was already a disgusting and vicious creature, why not make the most of it?"

There's one word that I might change in this sentence: "That Remus Lupin character had done it." Instead of the word 'character', which makes me conscious of the fact I'm reading a work of fiction, why not use a synonym that Fenrir might use (bloke or fellow or wanker or bastard or prat or chap)?

I also really likes this: "...couldn't help but feel a little relieved that Lupin would no longer be around to convince other werewolves to repress their nature." I like that you give Greyback some depth -- and a reason to dislike Lupin.

The only thing I feel is maybe missing from this chapter is physical description of Greyback. Has he lost weight in prison? Is he still dressed in rags? Does he fidget or sit still? This isn't a big deal, it would just be a nice touch.

Here's another line that had me nodding my head: "He had joined the Dark Lord's ranks not because he was afraid of the man, but rather because it was convenient." I agree with this 100%.

And this line got me thinking, too: "Maybe he could have fought his brutish side harder, but there was no joy in that. Only toil." I think it sheds some perspective on Lupin, as well.

I also really like the final line. :) I'm looking forward to reading the next two chapters!

Author's Response: I'm glad you started to feel for him, as that was really my goal here. Oh gosh, I loved giving Fenrir depth.

The "character" thing, I definitely see your point. Maybe it's just me, but I do refer to people as characters, but I see how it could be seen the other way as well. I may edit that in the future. :)

Also, with the physical description, I like that as well, so I may add that in as well.

I'm glad you liked that final line - I did too. :)

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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