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Review:--M says:
Try some punctuation? Capitalization, maybe? It would be an interesting/funnystory, just need to work on those 2 things.

Author's Response: Thank-you for your honesty :D This is a very old story of mine, I was going to delete it but I liked the plot of it so I kept it :) Maybe one day i'll go back over it. Thank-you however

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