| Review: | adluvshp says:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums!
Wow, this was an exceptionally well-written chapter and I loved reading it. In my opinion, this is the best chapter out of all three so far! You handled a sensitive issue quite well, or actually two sensitive issues (murder and illegal abortion), so great work on that.
I liked the small scene between Camille and Xavier! I am definitely rooting for them, haha. I think the way you have managed to incorporate some small sweet moments of romance (if it can be called that) amidst all this is commendable. Likewise, the little part where Xavier is shooed out of the room by the girls is quite cute, and again shows that there is still some love and happiness and nice moments shared between the group amidst all that is happening.
As for the Minister, he seems a very manipulative character and I don't like him one bit. He reminds me of Rufus Scrimgeour, willing to do anything to 'win'. His methods are indeed very cruel and I don't blame Astrid for thinking whether it was indeed right to join the resistance when they're going to resort to such horrible methods. You portrayed all the horribleness of the situation very well, as well as the tension in the atmosphere at what they'll play a part in.
As for Jean lying for Astrid, I am as of yet unsure of what was his motive for doing that. I don't know if he wants Astrid in his bed, that sounds strange lol, so good job on keeping my interest and curiosity piqued! I'd love to see where you take this.
As for your concerns, the chapter flowed wonderfully. The transitions were as always quite smooth, especially the one between the mayor's murder and Johanna's memory. The way you connected the two with 'the pool of blood' was nicely done. Throughout the story, I didn't feel like we were jumping from one scene to another, so over all, good work on the flow.
The chapter was packed with emotional intensity be it Astrid's, Johanna's, or Camille's in their scenes, and I liked it very much. I think you expressed all of their feelings really well and without overdoing it or moving away from the focus of the plot.
You definitely dealt with things the right way. As I said, it is one of my favourite chapters of the story.
All in all, superb job! I don't have any CC at all to give you. It was a very well-written chapter and I am eager for the next. Please do re-request!
10/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)
P.S. Haha the review was definitely longer than intended, sorry xP Also, I am going to favourite this story as I am enjoying it quite a lot so I'd like to keep track of it. Please feel free to re-request!
Author's Response: Hi AD!
This review made me melt like wax to a flame, so I'll try to respond to it in proper english and without squeeing myself out of my chair.
I'm so glad you enjoyed the scene with Camille and Xavier, and the small snippets of happiness. To be honest, I wasn't convinced by their inclusion -- sometimes I'm tempted to be entirely dark and angsty with this story.
The Minister is a character I still haven't figured out properly. He'll definitey do anything to win, and not just in terms of the war, but at the same time I think he does have a heart somewhere. Again, I'm really unsure about the approach I'll have to him, even though I do have a few ideas.
Oh, I'm so grateful that you think the flow and emotional intensity came across well! My forte is dialogue (I think) so I'm always unsure about pouring the characters' thoughts on screen.
Thank you so much for this review (and for the favourite), I'll definitely be rerequesting! :)
|
