|Review:||nott theodore says:|
It's hard to know where to start with this review, because I had to read this one-shot through about four times to get the full impact of it and see how brilliantly crafted it actually is. You've also managed to make me cry (admittedly, I cry very easily at stories and films, but it doesn't happen that often when I read fanfiction!)
So, first of all, I love the "Ashes, Ashes they all fall down" part in the summary. I know that's not really officially a part of the story but I couldn't resist it when I saw it on your Author's Page, and it really got the sense of devestation and ending that this story signifies across well before I'd even read it. And of course, I noticed that this one-shot was a Marauders era as well, and then I really couldn't resist it - I always think that the Marauders era is so difficult to write really well, but you're definitely one of (if not) the best Maruaders writers on this site at the moment.
Peter's note at the beginning was really interesting. There's an undercurrent of desperation there that I can understand; Peter had chosen his side, but with it he'd also handed his best friends straight over to Voldemort and sentenced them to death. I think (or hope!) that he must have felt some remorse after the event, when he truly realised what he'd done. It also demonstrated how much of a coward he really is - as though he's hoping that Sirius will forgive him instantly if something's gone wrong with it, and offer him protection against Voldemort. He's really out to save his own skin, and it's like he's trying to make sure he has somewhere to go whatever happens.
Then the way that Sirius takes to the skies on his bike, trying to get to Lily and James and find them, wanting to protect them but at the same time having that horrible subconscious knowledge that there's nothing that he can do, because his best friends are already dead. You communicate his sense of desperation and utter despair brilliantly as he races towards the Potters' house.
The description and imagery were beautiful as well. I love reading it all, and the way that you interspersed it with Sirius' thoughts in italics was so effective. The fact that his thoughts are so short and sharp emphasises the despair he's experiencing and the desperation to find them all safe. It must have been absolutely awful for him to know what had happened to his best friends and their son.
His thoughts about Harry were so sweet and powerful. I've always thought that he loved Harry so much - like a son, almost - but never really knew how to communicate that love after years in Azkaban. And then the feelings of guilt, when he realises that he was the one who suggested Peter, and that makes him the one indirectly responsible for his best friends' deaths; I get the impression that he was almost happy to receive the punishment of going to Azkaban after what had happened. Perhaps later on he would regret that, but at the time I think it might have even come as a relief.
I wish I could offer some CC here, but this is just so perfect and moving. It was a really short story, but so powerful despite (or perhaps because of) that. I feel like it would have been really easy (and probably quite tempting) to run into lots of detail about this moment, but at the same time I think it's the simplicity that makes this story so haunting and poignant. And I'm going to stop rambling now, because I'm sure you're bored of me already...Well done!
Author's Response: Ahhh I've come to your last amazing review to respond to! Seriously, answering these has made my afternoon. Thank you!
Okay. Your comment about my Marauders writing has pretty much made me want to hug you for the rest of my life. Can just attach us at the hip so I can hug you every second? Oh, is that creepy... er.. moving on then.. :P
I have built up a very specific head canon for Peter and twisted canon up a bit. It doesn't show that in this story as much, but I sort of got to the point where i realized I needed to like Peter to write Marauders in a way that I thought sort of did it justice. So I twisted things up and came up with something I can live with. This note, a small sign that maybe Peter did feel terrible about what he did, made me want to strangle him a little less. And I think you're exactly right. He's out to save his own skin and doesn't know what he'd do if Voldemort didn't pan out. Oh Peter. WHY :(
I can't imagine how terrible those few minutes of Sirius's life where after he found Peter's hiding place empty. And I love what you said about him loving harry almost like a son but not knowing how to communicate that after Azkaban. It always seemed like he never would have found a place in the world, even after his freedom. As heart killing as Sirius dying for me was, I do think he deserved to be with Lily and James again.
SIAN YOUR REVIEWS ARE MAKING ME SAD. I swear, they're so good I feel like I'm reviewing a review, ha!
I'm so happy the length didn't bother you, and that this story managed to make sad. You know how emotional I get over these characters, so doing that to someone else is a big deal to me. Not that I want you to be sad, but if I wrote something that got you there, I won't complain ;).
Yeah right, crazy girl! I could never never get bored of your amazing reviews!
Thank you so, so much for the amazing reviews you've left me ♥