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Review:Erised says:
Hi there!

This is a great entry! I really loved how you set the scene so well at the beginning and you really set the mood too; it felt tense and I was wondering what was going to happen next. Then the enormous stuffed penguin turned up and I burst out laughing! Nice way of getting the object requirement in, haha.

As it's from Grindelwald's point of view I like how that provided some extra character and background to what happened that night with Ariana and I love your interpretation of his feelings - the fact that he only felt remorseful in the last moments of his life rather than in the clearing made it all the more powerful. His transformation from scared to truly dark again was great too.

Although it was pretty funny having the penguin there as some kind of embodiment of Ariana, I thought you did a really good job of her too. I thought there could have been some more character development for her by perhaps going into her thoughts and feelings about the night more but on the whole she set a great moral standard here.

This is a great entry and I wish you luck! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

Of all the selections, I chose the enormous stuffed penguin first.

From reading HBP, you saw how Professor Dumbledore had been affected by his sister's death when he was forced to drink the Drink of Despair. It was then reiterated in DH when you saw how Aberforth had been affected. But there was no mention about how Grindelwald had been affected except for that he ran away that very day only to emerge as a Dark Wizard years later. I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt that he finally felt remorse when he refused to tell Voldemort where the Elder wand was since he had spent about half his life in prison.

That is a good point. I will have to think how to include memories of Ariana and her innocence into the storyline.

Thank you very much!


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