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Review:Lululuna says:
Hello, here for your requested review! :)

I quite liked this! The descriptions were very strong, and I particularly liked the one of the clearing at the beginning. It started the story off with a very eerie feel, which was of course completely flipped at the first mention of an "enormous stuffed penguin."

Honestly, I kept laughing every time the penguin was mentioned. It was just so ridiculous, but worked in giving the story a sense of strangeness and keeping the reader on their toes. Otherwise, this is a very tragic story, but the mention of the penguin kept reminding me to look at it in different ways.

To be fair, if I were Gellert and was haunted by an enormous stuffed penguin I'd be quite upset. I wonder what Voldy was haunted by... an enormous stuffed armadillo, perhaps?

I think the descriptions were good, but that you could have used a little bit more. Maybe some more context and memories of Grindelwald's time with the Dumbledores, like his interactions with Ariana before the duel? It would help situate the story and add a little more substance to it, so that could be something to think about. :)

Overall I think the story flows pretty well and bears an important message, despite the obvious humour present. Great job with this! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I had to think a little bit on how to include the penguin and finally settled on its role as the manifestation of his guilt.

I'm certain that at first, Gellert was more than a little annoyed with the penguin, but after being chased around all day and not being able to escape the penguin, he was becoming more alarmed and scared.

I never thought what Voldy could have been haunted by. Giant armadillo or perhaps a opossum?

I've added notes into the story to add memories of Ariana and her innocence (since it seems that even though she was 14 at the time she died, she hadn't been allowed to emotionally grow up).

Thank you very much!


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