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Review:soufflegirl99 says:
The flow of this chapter is absolutely brilliant, and it's been such a fascinating and awesome read for me - I really enjoyed reading it!

The title definitely had me astounded, and I think it's pure genius. It suits the situation they're in perfectly, and really gets your attention too, so kudos for that. It adds more of a mystical element to it, and I think it's quite ironic too - seeing as it's a star, and it's like Fleur's light has gone out, and she's not longer the star in Bill's life. The summary I thought definitely drew me towards it, and really gets you developing questions about the story before you've even started reading it.

The whole present/past tense thing works astonishingly well. You describe the senses nicely too (e.g. the scraping at the beginning, and how she doesn't feel Bill's there.) That adds much more of a realistic edge to it, and makes the story that much more believable. I think the repetition of the word: "ministry work" really got me - it makes you empathise with Fleur, and really connect with her bitterness.

The structure is really well organised, and suits the thought process of Fleur. The short snappy sentences really have you engaged, and it made me even more compelled and thrown in to the story. The dialogue between Teddy and Fleur is really interesting, and I love how they chat about who fancied who. Their banter is lovely to read, and I automatically think of how Bill and Fleur should be like that - it says a lot when a young man who's not related to you, can talk comfortably to you, when your husband just avoids conversations with you. It helps the reader come to terms with the relationship Fleur has with Bill, and the way she connects with Teddy is so sweet.

I love the way knitting keeps on coming back - in lightens the mood of the story a bit, and made me laugh a bit. It also reassures the reader that Fleur's normal, and hasn't really doe anything wrong. It's not like she had a horrible personality that drove her away. The characterisation of Fleur, and the depth you write her in, is so fascinating, and creative. You show how tired of loving Bill she is, and how humoruous and dedicated she is as well. I think you grasp her complex character brilliantly, and really show new sides to her that I've never read before.

I like the way she's so caring to Alina - the way she too has been abandoned by Bill I think really gives Fleur another friend, and the way you describe her as 'the pretty girl' makes this even more riveting and intriguing.The sentence sthat aren't always quite fully formed are really effective, too, like Fleur's disjointed thoughts. The clearance she has at the end is really refreshing - not the typical soppy ending, but the way she finally gets over him and can carry on living her life. One of my favourite things I love about this piece, is not just how everyone can relate to Alina, Teddy and Fleur - not just the originality of having BILL cheat on Fleur - but the way you don't spell everything that happens out for the reader. The way the reader has to infer a bit of it, makes this piece a master piece, and I think anymore and it could become confusing and leave the reader dazed. But you have a perfect balance of enough description to give what it is away basically (e.g funeral) but then leave us to realise it's Bill's funeral. I hope that makes sense!

Overall, a really original, inventive and deep piece of writing. I love your character development of Fleur, and the format is brilliant. It was immense fun reading and reviewing this!

Sophie :D

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