Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:marauder5 says:
hi! I'm here for the review tag :D

Haha, well, I really enjoyed this! You definitely made me laugh a couple of times, and you've captured the light mood perfectly! Also, even if the whole 'do opposites really attract' thing is a bit cliché, it worked really well, and I can easily see this happening in real life, so congratulations on that (because many stories, especially fluffy romantic ones, are far from believable!). This right here was my favourite line: "I should be a spy, I'd be the best out of all of them. This is obviously a fool proof disguise." That is pure brilliance right there!

Teddy/Victoire is such a lovely pairing. I guess it would have to be weird to think of actually going out with someone after you've known them your whole life (I personally can't imagine dating any of my childhood friends, because I know them too well!). So maybe you could add something like that to Victoire's reasons for not wanting to go out with him. I get that the focus is on the fact that they're too different, but just imagine what a weird transition it must be for them! Also, Teddy said that they've known each other since he was three, but wouldn't they have known each other ever since Victoire was born? These are just minor things, but since I thought about them, I figured I should point them out! You can ignore them and still have a very funny and promising story ahead of you :)

Once again, good work on this! I'm interested to see what you have in store for these two! I think that Teddy in this story seems very sweet, and it was a really different take on Victoire, which was great! Usually, she is portrayed as light-hearted, beautiful and extremely likable, so it was fun to see her as a somewhat bitter person (given the whole life and lemons thing). That was a great summary, by the way! That quote pulled me into choosing this story in what looked like an ocean of funny, romantic stuff on your author's page!

I have one last suggestion: it might not be fitting with too much description in a humour story, but I would appreciate reading a bit more about their surroundings, the way they look... What colour was Teddy's hair today? Etc. Other than that, this is really great! :) Well done!

Author's Response: I feel like such a horrible human being for getting to this now but the point is I'm answering the review!

I aim to amuse people whenever I can! I'm glad that you think it's believable, I try to make the stories seem as believable as I can even if in general the environment that everything is happening in is anything but normal.

I think for some people it would be too weird but for some people it might just work. I mean, you've known the person your entire life, you'd know them just as well as their parents if not more.

Teddy said three-years-old because when Victoire was born, she was two and when I think of people knowing someone I think of them being able to play and talk with them (even if it is gibberish) and I figured that Teddy wouldn't really understand what was happening at the age of 2 and Victoire wouldn't know what was going on after just being born.

I'm having quite a lot of fun writing Teddy and Victoire this way, I always imagined bitter Victoire to be more entertaining than perfect Victoire.

I'm quite proud of my life and lemons quote, it's one of my favourite things about the story so far and I thought that it would make an interesting summary. I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one who thought so.

I'll definitely keep in mind to add more description and thank you so much for the review and feedback!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 229
Submit Report: