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Review:nott theodore says:
I hope you don't hate me, but I actually read this a couple of weeks ago without leaving a review. In my defence, I've been revising for exams, so I thought I'd come here at the first chance I got!

You have a real talent for writing characters as children and making them sound realistic and natural. There are very few stories that involve the next generation as children but you manage to capture them brilliantly, and this was very enjoyable to read because of it.

My favourite character here was without a doubt Victoire. Even though she's often portrayed as bossy in stories, there's a clear reason for it here. As the oldest she has to look after not only her younger siblings but all of her cousins as well; they're too young to do everything she wants to do, but she gets told off if she leaves them out. I love the idea of the 'Vic rule'!

The idea of make-believe is represented really well here. The way that the children go off hunting dangerous creatures and having exciting adventures, which are in fact all pretend, is so believable and true of what young children do.

Teddy was a great character here. I particularly enjoyed the way that you gave him his own distinct personality, but with enough characteristics from his parents to make him recognisable. I also liked the way that his hair changed colour to reflect his mood or what he was doing at the time.

At the end I found myself laughing at the reactions of their parents. I find it quite unlikely that they would let such young children wander off unseen for such a long time; maybe they were able to see them the whole time and were keeping a close eye on them?

I found myself a little confused around the middle with the bath-mobile, which I think mirrored Victoire's confusion well. I couldn't tell what had happened to all the children at some points, and I feel that she might have been a little more concerned about her siblings, but since this is told from Victoire's perspective it works because we only know what she knows.

I noticed just one typo towards the end:
"she mumbled her apoligy" -- apology

Overall, I really enjoyed this, and I love the way you write these characters as younger children than they're usually portrayed. Let me know when you update this!

Sian :)

Author's Response: I'm just so pleased you managed to review! Eeeek thank you so much for such a lovely long review - totally made my day :)


Thank you - I think it's mainly because I am a child still :P I don't enjoy writing teenagers as much, because their not as fun to write about, and I'm thrilled you liked it!


I think most people are bossy for a reason, and I actually feel really sorry for Victoire - having to be the most responsible one and all. I think having to look after such a range of cousins, and so many must be a challenge for her! Teddy, too, I think he is one of my most favourite HP characters of all time - definitely one of the most interesting - and having a talent of hair-changing and stuff was too tempting to not write about! I would love to be able to do all that! Yay, I'm pleased you could see the Lupin/Tonks in him! I tried really hard to make him seem believable, and still be a bit brave like his parents - though it's difficult to make a kid stand out as brave when they're only like ten.


I used to love going off and like going on 'bear hunts' and stuff when I was younger, so I'm really glad you thought it was believable! Yeah, I think the parents did see them the whole time - just because this is Hermione Granger we're talking about here - and I can't imagine them not being worried about their children if they disappear for more than five minutes. Oops! Thanks for noticing the typo!


Thank you so much for such a detailed and awesome review! It was brilliant of you to stop by with all your revising! Thanks!


Soph :D






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