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Review:patronus_charm says:
I really liked how you made Lily have a feeling of inferiority to James and Sirius due to her muggle upbringing. It's great that you put emphasis on that, as I always imagined that it would affect her a lot. I really loved her descriptions of Vernon though, they were really humorous and it already gave me an idea of how youíre going to be portraying him throughout the story.

I really liked your characterisation of Minerva. I think it was the remark about her eyes were sharp yet kind, and that really showed what she was going to be like. I think it was right that she would comment on what was happening outside, partly due to her work with the Order, and partly due to her being rather liberal in terms of knowledge the students know. It reminded me a lot when she was challenging Umbridge in OoP.

So the Marauders are up to something then? You really caught the dynamic of the overall group really well, and if felt that there was an equal balance between them all. I felt the same with Jamesí interaction with Lily, which was really well done. I think both of their responses to Jamesí question were perfect and it showed the evolution of their relationship you would imagine there to be by sixth year. Iím eager to see the developments in that respect.

Even though it was tiny mention, and wasnít even romantically inclined I liked that Lily preferred Regulus to Sirius. I never got the Sirius/Lily ship as it just didnít make sense, but Regulus and Lily always seemed to have more similarities and it was nice to see that you drew upon it here.

I adored the tentative conversation they had on the way up to the kitchens. With most characters you wouldnít be able to pull it off, but I think with Lilyís kindness and Regulusí softer side it really worked well, and it had me awing throughout. You kept the balance of them not really knowing one another, humour and cautiousness perfectly. I really loved that part about a possibly potions genius love child, as it seems like something Slughorn would actually do.

That was a really excellent chapter. Itís so wonderful to be able to read your work as it flows beautifully and the scene changes are seamless, and I canít often say that about peopleís work. If it does take me a while to get back itís due to exams, because if it was my way I would have been caught up a long time ago!


Author's Response: Hello again :)

I'm pleased that you think the characterization is shaping up nicely and particularly that you liked seeing multiple dimensions to Lily here. I've really tried to make her seem as normal as possible, not too introverted but also not a caricature.

Definitely keep an eye on Lily and James. The two of them will continue to grow together and show how much each has changed as the story moves forward. It's great that you can already see changes in each of them from fifth year until now.

Well, Lily knows Regulus a little better than Sirius at this point; she really only knows Sirius through his affiliation with James. As you might imagine, that could change as the years go by. For now, though, yeah, they're just kind of awkwardly getting to know each other and realizing that first impressions (and hearsay) aren't always the most reliable source of information on a potential new friend. I'm glad you think them bonding, so to speak, over Slughorn made some sense.

Thanks for this lovely review, Kiana!


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